The Mock Dock

I kid. There might have been other exciting stuff. But this probably tops anything Actually Tennis related.

Apparently, this tool was throwing the f-bomb around like it was the word “and” and the woman near him didn’t appreciate it, said as much, and then chaos ensued. The result? The most interesting few minutes of a tennis game I’ver personally ever witnessed.

This dog is on its hind legs FOREVER. LOVE.

Hey – you know how Paris Hilton is trying to claim that the purse she got busted with the other night, which had cocaine in it, wasn’t hers?

Well, apparently it was the same purse which she took a picture of several weeks ago and tweeted that she was all excited to have just purchased:

Oops.

But you know what?  None of that really matters because LOOK AT HER THUMB.  That is one of the oddest looking thumbs I have ever seen. It’s like a giant apostrophe.

You have to appreciate a good story teller. Especially one who’s backin’ up backin’ up backin’ up.

…that these were created for the sole purpose of making me hurl:

Turtle bacon hotdog burgers.

WHY WHY WHY would anyone create such a horrific meat combo?

You guys, Mini-Mock has croup! He’s the hoarsest, raspiest, shallow-breathingest boy ever right now.

I took him to an immediate care clinic, thinking he just had a cold and needed antiobiotics or something, but once we got there they did x-rays and breathing treatments and gave him steroids and everything, and then when none of that seemed to help, they said I was to drive him straight over to the hospital where he’d be admitted for observation for the night.

So off we went. Once we got there, they put him in the standard hospital fashion:

Here’s the thing about Mini-Mock – he’s SO GOOD all the time, no matter what, that it’s easy to dismiss illness symptoms because he just won’t ever complain about them enough to compel you to act on them.  It was only because he sounded SO barky and raspy and labored in his breathing, WHILE he was running around playing happily, that I finally took him.

The entire staff at immediate care fell in love with him.  In fact, he so charmed the nurse, who was all grouchy and mean when we first arrived, that she told the doctor in front of us, that if any of his treatment was going to require a shot, she’d have to find someone else to do it, because she couldn’t bear to cause pain to such a precious angel.  And she said she hasn’t felt that way in her entire 20 year career.  THAT is how sweet he is, you guys.  And you add a pitiful raspy voice?  It’s practically unbearable.

Anyway, happily he seemed to improve while we were in the ER, and so now we’re home where he’s running all over the place playing and wheezing.  That’s my guy.

September 20 – that’s the day that Robbie Williams’ new tell-all is being released. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

How much do you love his accent? CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT.

With the tips of his ears.  He will cut you with the tips of his ears, and then pass out from the exhaustion of holding up that giant, heavy plastic knife.

I haven’t been hairy under my arms in so long that I’ve forgotten how long it would take to actually grow hair this long there.

Thoughts?

(P.S.  I wonder if this post is going to lure more armpit lickers to The Mock Dock.  HI PERVS!!!)

That’s what you will have after you watch this tonight.

You’re welcome.