The Mock Dock

On Saturday, I decided to be civic…to help those more less fortunate… so I participated in a trudge to cure cancer.   First of all, I hope they find the cure soon, I am tired of running walking 5k… but that is who I am. 

Anyway, as is my normal training for such an undertaking, I made sure to drop a hopscotch on the tip of my tongue to make sure that my hallucinations would erode the pain of the pavement under my Birkenstock sandals and cargo shorts…as I am a serious athlete.  As I ran walked down the street, aware that all of those around me were truly dining on the power of the event and digesting their self-satisfaction in the bile of human smugness, I realized that this day was not going to end well.  As I slowly began to see each of my fellow “curers” walking beside me, they appeared “plush” and “jowl-y”.  This is not an issue in a stadium or at a birthday party.  But on the streets, with a bottle of water and can a Mace in your hand this can be an issue.

So, I  apologize to all of you who simply wanted to have a wonderful day, helping those who are more fortunate than we.  I apologize to the organizers of this event.  I apologize to the officers who helped to make my day special (I don’t normally urinate when being hog-tied).  I apologize to my family for the embarrassment that I caused. 

So, there Judge McKerney… I have begged forgiveness and will complete my community service with glee… I had better start “training” for this!