The Mock Dock

So, I was at another family birthday function. We have several birthday’s around this time of year, which means my grandparents and parents were very, VERY busy around the month of December. Merry Christmas and a ring a ding ding!  Anywhoo, our family gathering was separated as usual, men talking about their jobs, sports, cars, and whatever other stereotypical “male” subjects I have not mentioned here. My discussion group consisted of Grandma Aufshneider, Mother Aufshneider, my cousin and sisters. Somehow our usual topics of movies and celebrity news took a dark, dark turn. And when I say dark, I mean that the words “Richard Gere” and “gerbils” were brought up. Then there were lots and lots of questions asked…..by Mother Aufshneider. If her reaction to the news that small rodents were used for something besides running on a plastic wheel was not funny enough, my Grandmother then provided me with the best moment of my life. Seriously. This tops them all folks. She said this with the most innocent face, and I quote: “Girls, have any of you gone to the grocery store and been too ashamed to only buy one cucumber? Like you are afraid of what the store clerk might think?”  Needless to say, I don’t remember much else of what was said, as my state quickly turned to that of asthmatic-like, tearful laughter. Best. Moment. EVER.