Monthly Archive for August, 2007Page 3 of 7

I Officially HATE Glampers

So there’s a new luxury travel phenomenon called Glamping - glamorous camping.  And filthy rich people along with their spoiled rotten children are doing it.  They are sleeping in tents, but the tents include a camp butler to build their fires, maids to attend to their heated comforters, and personal chefs.  So, it’s camping for $710 a night.  Families are also shown how to fish (in prime fishing spots chosen in advance by the staff), and are exposed to wildlife (animals which have been found in advance by the staff – the families are then driven right to them).  The bathrooms, which are just a hop/skip from the tents, have heated slate floors and rain-forest showers with granite counters and fancy soap.

Click here for more details on a couple of families who glamped.  And be prepared to be as filled with disdain and disgust as I am.
 

Paris Hilton has Illogical Bangs

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Question for our female and/or gay male readers:  Please explain how Paris Hilton’s bangs do this.  How is it that she can take hair from practically the back of the top of her head, comb it all the way down to her nose and then swoop it to the side and have it STAY there,  without falling in her eyes?

HOW, I ask you.

Random John Mayer News

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Word on the street is that John Mayer is now dating Cameron Diaz.  And also that he makes hideous faces when he performs.

This is why you come to the MockDock, folks.  For the pure randomness of our news.  You’re welcome!

Jordan Sells Perfume

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This photo, of a supposed celebrity who interchangeably goes by Jordan or Katie (??) and has some fame in the UK apparently, is part of an ad campaign for perfume.  Which is certainly the first thing I thought about when I saw this picture.  I mean, it just SCREAMS perfume, doesn’t it?  To me it just screams real, authentic, genuine, not-at-all-fake-or-enhanced-or-enlarged perfume.

Oh the torture

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So, my sister’s birthday was this weekend. We all got gussied-up and headed to our favorite downtown Italian restaurant. Little did we know that the national Gen Com convention was in town. Oh, do we wish that we had known. We were in a room FILLED with the likes of those you see above. At every table sat some variation of this image. A bigger guy in a vest, an older guy in a free website shirt – black of course, a little guy who has always been on the smaller side in a black gaming tee shirt, a tall guy with with weird facial hair, and a chick, who, by any normal ratings isn’t very, um, attractive, but in this crowd, she is the freaking Grace Kelly of the bunch. All of these people were loud, obnoxious, and weirdly dressed. I saw a woman in a cat costume, a man wearing a pink tie and bunny ears, and a woman dressed as a belly dancer. This is in public people. It was like every company let out their IT guys for the weekend, and this is what they decided to do. It was a horrifying, terrifying experience. I would like to hear your thoughts. Wait, crap, my IT guy is probably able to read this right now, isn’t he. craaaaaaaaaaaaap.

Mean People Live a Long Time

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Leona Helmsley, tax evader extraordinaire and arguably one of the world’s sexiest women, has died at the ripe old age of 87 from heart failure. 

BRITNEY IS GROWING HAIR

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BREAKING NEWS!  Britney’s hair is starting to grow.  And her natural hair color is orange.

That is all.

The Hills are Alive….with Gayness

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So lately I’ve been seeing a lot of the tabloid mags and blogsites refer to people from a show called The Hills.  Some girl named Lauren and another girl named Heidi are apparently in some sort of wicked fight.  I decided to tune into the show for the first time ever this afternoon to see just what all the fuss is about.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this show is quite possibly the dumbest show ever.  I think it’s a reality show, but I’m not positive.  The dialogue doesn’t seem authentic, but it also seems too dumb to be something anyone actually wrote as a script, so perhaps it’s some sort of pseudo-reality show.  In any case, I can’t imagine who would want to routinely tune in to watch these impossibly boring and annoying people on purpose.  And yet apparently it’s all the rage.  Anyway, Heidi and Lauren are mad at each other over some rumor that one of them started about the other, and I think there’s a sex tape involved, and that’s about all I could make out of their big feud.  But what I find to be far more interesting is that Heidi is engaged to a guy who is CLEARLY gay.

If someone could alert me when the episode airs where Heidi confronts her fiance about his gayness, that would be great.  Until then, dear readers, consider yourselves spared from any news about the absurdity that is The Hills.

Breaking News

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In a shocking turn of events, Seigfried and Roy announced yesterday that they are GAY. I’m not making this up people. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. Apparently Siggy and Roy-boy were once lovers. Although they aren’t currently, they now remain “partners” and “best friends.”  Shocking, shocking stuff. I’m glad they found the courage to come out of the closet. It must have been a crowded one with all those tigers in there.

SERIOUSLY

I mean please, people.  Watch this perfect specimen of a man dance.  I defy you to tell me that anyone was better.  How does someone not wearing ice skates spin for this long?!?

Tragic, tragic decision by American voters.  I hope this isn’t indicative of what we’ll see in November of 08. 

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