What can you say? Besides “nice teeth”, and “you’re a complete freakshow”.
Archive for September, 2007
In keeping with her natural ability to select really solid, upstanding decent men as marriage partners, Pamela Anderson got married to Rick Solomon (of One Night in Paris fame) this weekend in Las Vegas.
To save time, plans to just splice each of their respective sex tapes together and sell the final product are underway.
I’m pleased to present this photo of Britney covering more of her body than I think she ever has. AND, she’s wearing underwear. Rumor has it that she requested this belt from an employee at Long John Silver’s on one of her midnight fast food trips.
CH: If I hadn’t been here, what do you think would have happened?
SC: We were going to talk… he sits on my lap… I ask what he wants for a present…he says a bike…I tell him to be good and obey his parents.
CH: Let me read your words back to you…”HO-HO-HO”… pretty racy language, don’t you think… “WHAT DO YOU WANT THIS YEAR?”…
SC: I ask that of a lot of kids… I try to bring joy…
CH: “SLIDE DOWN YOUR CHIMNEY”… this is sick…
SC: You are ruining me….[unclear as Santa covers his face with his red, velour coat]…
I have never seen a woman who looks more drastically different without makeup than Pamela Anderson. I don’t know what sort of magical makeup she uses, but I can think of several hideous people I would like her to loan it to.
Carrot Top must be in Madonna’s Upper Body class (every other Wednesday at the “Y”…I’m sure of it). But serious…you all know my issue with Carrot Top. He is the creepiest looking human ever. But, aside from that, his arms look like He-Man…I want to break one off and feed it to my little brother…not that I know what that’s like….
I appreciate toned arms as much as the next person. But enough is enough. When your arms are so muscular that they start looking like the tentacles of a squid, you need to lay off the power Pilates.
Umm…so, I guess I should post this for those of you who need an alternative to watching The Office this evening. Tune in to channel 704 for Goth Public Access. Tonight should be good. From 8 to midnight you can see “Def Comedy Jam: Death Edition.” This kid can really spit. And I like his girlfriend - Best. Arby’s Couple. Ever.
I don’t think any of you know how excited I am about tonight. Kind of like this kid. And the gnome in the background. Isn’t gnome a fun word? Ahhhh…. (obviously I’m a bit distractable here at work today).
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