…it wouldn’t be a full day if there wasn’t a horrible new Britney picture to look at.
Monthly Archive for September, 2007Page 2 of 9
The baby on the left is a SEVENTEEN POUND NEWBORN who was just brought into the world by some Siberian woman who already has eleven other kids. NOT Salma Hayek. Can you believe it? The baby on the left is a normal (and clearly annoyed) 7 pounder who is on record as saying, “WTF??” when she saw her new roommate.
As I was searching to see one of my favorite farting preacher videos on YouTube, I came across this little gem. You never know what you will find when you type in the word “fart”. So, for those of you with a sense of humor of a nine year old, like me, enjoy.
If you were to line up all the people in the world - and on the left end you put the most masculine-looking man in the world, and on the right end the most feminine-looking woman, and then lined up everyone in between….these two would be in the very center.
I don’t want to sound too preachy here… but ALL MEN over the age of 40 should see a doctor and have a prostate exam. It is critical to your health. Now that I have made my plea…
Allow me say that there is a time and place for the exam… this is not it!
The US army has a new secret weapon, a device that shoots a beam and inflicts pain on people in the laser’s path. The best part is that it does not leave a mark on the victims.
“This machine has the ability to inflict limitless, unbearable pain. What makes it OK, says Raytheon, is that the pain stops as soon as you are out of the beam or the machine is turned off.”
I can see and hear protesters now once the police get their hands on this device (coming to youtube soon). Recent Taser abuse proves the police will handle this new weapon responsibly.
Who will win the coveted prize? Using your Verizon Wireless phone, dial the number 1 for “Gert Johnny’s”, number 2 for “Gervis” and number 3 for “Cool Candys”. Standard rates do apply, voting will end by 1973. Thanks for playing!
Often thought to hunt alone, the Wolf, or canus wolfoloppus, is seen here displaying the traditional predatorial hunting techniques of the plushy. As the prey revels in its solitude, frolicking through the evergreen terrain, the Wolf appears, startling the prey… forcing it to stop, staring death in the cold, 4 inch, sewn-on eyes. The prey then changes course, flushed in to the gaping jaws of the pack.
Only in the wild can these primal instincts be witnessed…
Beautiful. Talkative. Vomitous. What more could anyone want out of a random, Swedish interactive television gameshow hostess?
As for me… she has it all. And she loses it all. (But somehow manages to keep her dress clean). I hope she and baby are both healthy.
Last night I stopped the wily pursuit of channel surfing to take a moment and interact with the other residents of my homestead. I asked, “Would anyone like to talk, read, or do a puzzle?” Within 3 seconds, I was sucked in to the madcap world of “Bible-opoly.”
Yes, you read that correctly. Bible-opoly takes the classic game of greed and capitalism and puts a altruistic, Christian spin on land management and solid investing.
I was disheartened as I was unable to pony up the Euros drachmas to purchase Jerusalem Boulevard and build a swanky hotel for the finest Pharisees and their concubines. So I put my meager earnings down on the Golgotha tenements. All can say is… my renters better have the rent on the first of the month. I will cast the first stone…
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