Rumors are flying that Lance Armstrong is dating whichever of the creepy Olson twins this is. If this is true, I’m never going to wear a yellow bracelet again.
Archive for October, 2007
It is not known precisely where angels dwell - whether in the air, the void, or the planets. It has not been God’s pleasure that we should be informed of their abode. ~Voltaire
Well, Voltaire, I’m happy to report that their location has been identified and it’s the corner of 12th and MLK.
Do you want to hear the cutest thing ever? Rumer Willis thinks she has a job! She tells People magazine, “Before I started working, I would have said, ‘You know, it’s not really fair, because I didn’t choose this.’ But when you decide to be a part of this profession and put yourself out there, then you kind of have to accept what it is. Fame is a 24-hour job. It doesn’t matter if you are going out to a restaurant – you have to be aware of what you are doing and how you look and how you are presenting yourself, because most of the time people never get to know you.”
Naturally, this leaves me with questions, not the least of which is - what profession is it exactly that she believes she’s in?
I love how she thinks she sounds all smart and practical about her public image, and then she shows up to ANYTHING in this outfit.
So this guy has just been charged with sexual battery. And please don’t misunderstand, I am not blaming the victims here because being touched inappropriately by someone you don’t want to be touched by is wrong, no question. And you never know who might be a sexual predator. You can’t judge a book by its cover, blah blah blah etc.
I have to wonder though. What would compel someone to choose this person as their OPTOMETRIST? If you have a choice between, say, any optometrist in a 100 mile radius, or a guy that is cross-eyed and has no neck, who do you pick? Exercise a little judgment, ladies. That’s all I’m saying.
Did you ever have one of those days when you were stressed out at work and you thought to yourself, “Self - I could use a Big Mac right about now”, and then you went to a McDonald’s and got your fingertip bitten off by a drunk lunatic?
Well, that’s what happened to this fine gentleman.
Weimeraner (pronounced Vy-mur-ah-nur): Descended from the German hound, this German pointing dog appeared in paintings as early as 1600. Used in Germany to hunt and bring down weaker game, the Weimeraner was a useful pet and useful utility to many Germans throughout the years.
Dachshund (pronounced Docks-hooned): Originally appearing in German texts from the early 1700s, the Dachshund became a symbol of Germany, serving as a rallying image in all German endeavors worldwide. The German Dachshund is skilled at identifying injured or dying game, and alerting the hunter to the location of his or her prey.
Ironic…don’t you think?
Absurdly yours,
Holmes
Channing Crowder, Miami Dolphins Linebacker, is apparently NOT an expert on geography. He recently had this to say:
“I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that. I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”
This is a University of Florida graduate, people. Who are the school administrators who allowed this joker to have a college degree? The same ones that allowed Miss South Carolina to graduate from high school?
Over the millions of years that have fashioned the sophisticated machine that is modern man, the need for survival, for excellence, has forced human nature to rule, outweighing our desire to maintain our superiority.
The classic struggle of hunter and hunted, Coke and Pepsi, Speed-Walk while trying to set a New World Record or Run whilst being chased by Sword-weilding samurais on the lam… these are the decisions that have tested mankind.
Thankfully, Japanese television has found the strength, the will dare we say, to seek the answers to life’s greatest conundrum. “He is running!”
I have been saying for awhile that Benicio Del Toro looks like a Werewolf. Finally, I have found someone that agrees. And now I know you do too…thanks cityrag.com! If you don’t know who this is, he is the guy in the new movie with Haley Berry…I’ve heard she has a nice pair…
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