The Mock Dock

So I don’t consider myself a sports buff…I really only like to watch the “home teams” if you will. So, last night I actually tuned in to Monday Night Football to watch the Indianapolis Colts destroy yet another team. I was distracted, however, by the fools that were commentating the event. Now, I don’t know these gentlemens’ names, nor do I care. I could just not get over how much of a man-crush these fellows had for Tom Brady.

Tom Brady wasn’t even playing last night…but they brought up his name 10 to 15 times a minute. It was like they were three eighth grade girls sitting in their pajamas, writing the name of Tom Brady in their notebooks over and over…writing their first names with Brady as their last name…dreaming and giggling about Tommy and his tight butt. It was ridiculous. Here is a sample of the dialogue from last night…or at least how I remember it:

“Manning throws to Harrison…speaking of throwing…you know who throws, like, AMAZING? Tom Brady. He seriously could throw me anywhere he wants.”

“Oh I know. Manning has impressive stats tonights, but GAWD, did you see Tom Brady yesterday? He was looking H….O….T….HOT!”

“Sanders with the tackle…what a great defense Indianapolis has. You know what would make it better? Tom Brady. I’m not even sure what that means, but geeze…I can’t get that guy off my mind!”

“We would like to welcome Russell Crowe to the box. Hi Russell…so tell me, if you could play any football player in a movie who would it………………..it would be Tom Brady, right? I KNEW it!”