These are those idiots from that gay “reality” show The Hills - Heidi Montag and Spencer someone-or-other. Look at him. There is so much wrong here I don’t even know where to begin. First off - I’m pretty sure Spidey wears a full face mask….and not a hairnet. And secondly, I’m unaware of Spiderman sporting high top tennis shoes. And thirdly……just….Really?
And then of course there’s the…how do I say this delicately….protrusion, if you will. Other than the fact that it’s just OUT there, flailing around for the world to see, I guess the positive way to look at it is that it seems to be slightly more impressive than Danny Bonaduce’s (NSFW).














Damn son, those shoes are off the hook.