The Mock Dock

This is what Janice Dickinson and some naked guy looked like at some crazy PETA anti-fur rally.  And this is what it looks like when you’re caught practically falling over trying to check out the naked guy’s cash and prizes (see dude on the left). GOTCHA!

Sometimes makeup can be too much of a good thing.  Like when your stylist forgets that your shoulders are supposed to be roughly the same color as your chest.   She must have run out of bronzer after clearly using an entire BOTTLE on Ashley Judd’s face, throat and chestular area.   But sometimes…..

…you shouldn’t allow your stylist out of your sight.

This is apparently Joely Richardson, who is apparently on some tv show about plastic surgery.  Joely apparently has a deep hatred for nutrition, muscle tone, and health.

Jennifer Connolly wore this to……wait, who cares what she wore it to.  She WORE this to something.  She put this dress on, looked in the mirror and said, “Hmm.  You know what’s missing?  Black and white zigzag-patterned ankle boots with no toes. YES!!!  Now my outfit will be complete.”

This is why I love celebrities.  Because they never stop doing stupid stuff that I can mock.

US Weekly reports that Britney doesn’t like her judge because he’s “mean” and paid her “no respect.”  AND because he “just sits there and tells people what to do.” 

I’m pretty sure that sitting there and telling people what to do is his actual job.  He’s a JUDGE, for crying out loud. 

Next she’ll decide she doesn’t like her kids because they’re small and wear diapers. 

See the kissy face?  Ashley caught sight of herself on a jumbotron at one of Dario’s races this past summer and that was her instantaneous reaction.  More on her horrible kissing techniques in a future “I Hate Ashley Judd” post.

For now, if you doubt for one moment the extent of her self-absorption, please read this account of one man’s experience with her on one of her “save the world” trips. 

There is no other explanation for the looks of disgust on their faces.  Unless they simultaneously realized the full extent of the hideousness that is Donald’s hair.  In any case, guess what Donald had the nerve to do?  Rip on someone for being ugly.  Which wouldn’t be as hilarious as it is if that person weren’t ANGELINA JOLIE.  Donald apparently thinks himself quite the authority on beauty, and says with certainty that Angelina, while not unattractive, is not beautiful “by any stretch of the imagination.” 

I’m the first to point out that Angelina could stand to eat a sandwich, but wow.  How bad of a day are you having if Donald Trump calls you out on your looks?

I know.  It’s Jenna Jameson, another porn star.  But I couldn’t help posting this because LOOK at what has happened to Jenna Jameson!  She is unrecognizable.  Plus, one of her boobs appears to be deflating.  I think it’s because her organs are so malnourished that they’re just pulling nutrients from any body part that appears to be of normal size.  Even if those nutrients are saline and silicone.  She is so thin that her shoulders have points.  What IS that?

Since I’ve just been informed that my last post was of a porn star, I thought I would offer some good, wholesome clean fun to offset the preceding vulgarity.  I am so jealous of the fun this dude is about to have!!

In keeping with the last 24 hours worth of enormous body parts, I give you this.