The Mock Dock

Your boy, Holmes, has spent the better part of his life seeking ways to alter the reality in which he has been forced to live … all to no avail.
The Japanese have come closest. It all makes sense to me: the world’s greatest sport, pastel lumberjack underpants, a giant bunny with a whistle and binoculars. Who needs LSD… we have Japanese TV.
Now if we could only get a midget to laugh at the game… you could clearly see through Holmes’s eyes!
Absurdly yours,
Holmes