First, let’s start with a little scientology spoof. LOVE the video above. So great.
But I saw today that a recruiting/marketing video from the Scientologist wackjobs was leaked on the web. And this isn’t just a Tom Cruise not-meant-to-be-seen-by-the-general-public video, it’s an honest to goodness, here’s-why-you-should-be-a-scientologist video. And I’m here to tell you - it’s creepier than Adnan Ghalib. Here’s an excerpt:
“Right this instant, you are at the threshold of your next trillion years. You will live it in shivering, agonized darkness, or you will live it triumphantly in the light. The choice is yours, not ours.
If you, this minute, say, “I will, for better or for worse, go on in Scientology,” you will open the door to your own future. If you say otherwise, you slam tomorrow shut in your own face. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it really is. We are here to help you on the trail that leads up. If you fall off, we’ll try to help put you back on. But it is up to you. It is how you use it that counts. For you are the one that counts.
If you leave this room after seeing this film, and walk out, and never mention Scientology again, you are perfectly free to do so. It would be stupid, but you could do it. You can also dive off a bridge and blow your brains out, that is your choice. But if you don’t walk out that way, if you continue with Scientology, we will be very happy with you, and you will be very happy with you. You will have proven you are a friend of yours.”
Seriously. This video is serious. It seriously says that if you don’t mention Scientology after seeing the video, you’re stupid, and it’s the equivalent of blowing your brains out. (I am exempt, of course, because here I am mentioning it to you).
Anyway, I saw another article that mentioned that the bigwigs at Scientology headquarters are all happy because the number of searches in google and other search engines is way up ever since the Tom Cruise video leak. They genuinely believe that people are looking it up out of interest, and seem to be painfully unaware that people are looking it up to MOCK THEM.
I am more than creeped out by this whole religion. Look at this Leah Remini email and tell me that this “religion” isn’t totally wack. Apparently, in order to move up the Scientology ranks, one of the requirements is that you have to memorize more and more acronyms.
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