The Mock Dock

Last night, the younger of the two superheroes known as the Mannings, with their perfect teeth and nuclear family and good reasons for invading Irag, was able to defeat the latest version of “The Evil Empire” known as the New England Patriots.  As the New York Giants sluggishly scored 17 points to better the Pats’ 14, Eli Manning was crowned as the next great advertisement horse, outside of the  Budweiser Clydesdales.

There is not much to report about the game.  As I sat in my living room, listening to Depeche Mode and watching these two super-powers sputter up and down the retractable field of Online Fakey Degree College Statium, I could really only feel cheated… the only way to make the night better would have been to go to a strip club where the dancers wore pasties, drink a non-alcoholic beer, so I can go home and masturbate into a condom and not finish. 

I mean really…17-14…the Giants win.  The Perfect season…the dreamboat…Spygate…Senator Arlen Specter…I dream of Genie?  All of this and that was the best they could do…