The Mock Dock

Don’t get too excited.  Even though this is the first official report, I still haven’t gotten them yet.  BUT, I do have news to share about my first ever Kinoki Customer Service Experience.

So, remember how I told you that if you call their 1-800 number you’re just prompted to leave a message which is then promptly never returned?  Yesterday, I decided to try the number again.  And lo and behold, I was greeted by a new message, which said something along the lines of this:

“Thank you for calling Kinoki.  Your call is important to us.  Our representatives are currently handling other customer calls, but please hold the line and you will be connected to the first available representative.”

Which sounds promising, right?

Until a second voice came on and said, “Your approximate wait time is 35 minutes.”

Even though that’s completely ridiculous, I decided Hey! I have speakerphone.  I will just lay the phone next to me and busy myself with other things until they answer.  So that’s what I did.  And as promised, approximately 30 -35 minutes later, the most annoyed, bored, and life-hating person answered.  Our conversation went a little something like this:

Life Hating Person (LHP): (practically inaudibly) Kinoki can I help you.

Me: Yeah - I was calling to check on…

LHP: (interrupting) What’s your zip code?

Me: (Gave my zip code)

LHP: Name?

Me: Mockarena (only obviously I gave him my real name - but wouldn’t it have been cool if I’d said Mockarena and he’d said, “NO WAY - I love your site so much!” and then told me he was giving me a year’s supply of Kinoki Foot Pads for free?  Yeah - it would have. But here’s what he really said:)

LHP: Soooo….what do you want to know?

Me:  Um, well, so I placed this order like 6 weeks ago…

LHP: (interrupting) So what do you want to know about it?

Me: <begin sarcasm> I don’t know - I was thinking you and I could just talk for awhile.  You know - get to know each other a little bit.  What are your hopes and dreams?  What are your secret fears? <end sarcasm>  What do you THINK I want to know about it?

LHP: Your order is supposed to ship tomorrow.

Me: So supposing that it does.  When might I expect it to actually arrive?

LHP: 2 weeks.

Me:  <begin sarcasm>  You’ve been a tremendous help.

LHP:  (hangs up on me)

If this is any indication of what to expect from the actual results of the foot pads, I think we’re all going to be disappointed.  Stay tuned.