The Mock Dock

Look at these happy little photos of Dan Wheldon (Indy 500 winner and current Indycar driver) from a couple seasons ago.  Is this the smile of someone about whom you’d say, “Wow - that dude really needs veneers”?  I mean, yeah, he’s got a wonky tooth, but it’s endearing.  Cute even. 

But here’s something that you might not know about Dan Wheldon.  He is one of the vainest people on the planet.  And even though he’s now engaged to be married, to a WOMAN I might add, he’s as gay as the day is long.  He has more shoes than Imelda Marcos.  And wears more hair product than any woman I know.  So Dan decided he needed veneers.  And here is the result.

Now he has creepy, elongated, skeleton teeth.  And he looks like a complete idiot.  This should be a lesson to metro men everywhere to just leave well enough alone already.