So, there is again/still speculation that Britney is pregnant with creepy Adnan’s kid. Which would, I have to admit, bring me an enormous amount of delight. Not that I wouldn’t feel bad for the kid, who would have absolutely no prayer to be anything other than a total lunatic, but it would make for some good mocking.
Besides, Britney has gotten pretty boring since her parental unit finally decided to actually PARENT her.
It was Ladies’ Night at American Idol. Jump on in to see the mockery! Continue reading ‘Girl Night on Idol’
So apparently there is a story from reputable and reliable newsource The National Enquirer, which says that Hulk Hogan had an affair with one of his daughter’s galpals, shortly before Linda filed for divorce.
Now before you get too grossed out, the affair girl is a good 10 years older than Hulk’s daughter. But before you decide not to get too grossed out, let me remind you that she SLEPT WITH HULK HOGAN.
Ick.
Look at these happy little photos of Dan Wheldon (Indy 500 winner and current Indycar driver) from a couple seasons ago. Is this the smile of someone about whom you’d say, “Wow - that dude really needs veneers”? I mean, yeah, he’s got a wonky tooth, but it’s endearing. Cute even.
But here’s something that you might not know about Dan Wheldon. He is one of the vainest people on the planet. And even though he’s now engaged to be married, to a WOMAN I might add, he’s as gay as the day is long. He has more shoes than Imelda Marcos. And wears more hair product than any woman I know. So Dan decided he needed veneers. And here is the result.
Now he has creepy, elongated, skeleton teeth. And he looks like a complete idiot. This should be a lesson to metro men everywhere to just leave well enough alone already.
I never tire of these. Never!
LOOK at his crotchular area. There’s like a baby elephant growing in there!
When Perez is right, he’s right! Creepy, terrible Danny from AI totally looks like Jessica Alba. I think he has a bright future as her drag-queen counterpart. Mostly because he most certainly should be voted off this week.
Apparently, two monkeys were joined in holy matrimony in Ghanteswara, India. Really…monkey marriage…and these are the people who are better than us at loading Windows XP?
Anyway, I wish these two good luck. I hope the honeymoon lasts a long time and fece-flinging brings years of joy and happiness. (I know it worked for me and my first wife)
Absurdly yours,
Holmes
AND, so does my new best friend at IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com, who had this to say today:
“Here’s the teeth-clenchingly annoying 29 year old, Katherine Heigl, looking like the 45 year old chain smoker she is. She smokes American Spirit, the only 100% organic tobacco cigarette, because I guess she thinks that inhaling natural smoke is better than other smoke. Here’s a hint: It’s smoke. I’m sure when the fireman tells you to crawl on your stomach it isn’t because of the additives.”
This is the best morning ever.
You guys. You know how Janet Jackson is coming out with a new album? I just read that she has a lyric, and I’m not making this up, which is as follows:
“I’m heavy like a first-day period”
Seriously, how hard up are you for a lyric when THAT is the best you can come up with? Was there NOTHING else heavy she could use?
Ick.
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