Goldie Hawn was recently interviewed about her 25+ year relationship with Kurt Russell. And she had this to say:
“Sex is important. I think it’s a way to create more sexuality and I still feel that way about Kurt.”
Let me get this straight. Sex is a way to create more sexuality? Well, thank goodness I had the opportunity to read her quote. I never would have figured this out on my own.
This is why celebrities are so important, mockdockers. Because how else could we manage our relationships and lives in general without this kind of astute and profound advice?
Praise be to Goldie.
You are one stupid blogger. You obviously dind’t get this quote yourself but took it from some other dumb press person who took the quote out of context. If you watch the whole interview, rahter than fill your stupid site with crap to pretend you are important, than you would know what she really said in it’s entirety and then this screwed up sentence would make sense. But you’re not interested in reporting anythign correct because you are some loser sitting in front of your computer all day making fun of everyone else rather than looking at your own short-comings. What a hateful person you must be!
Once again, it appears that we have a visitor who BY CHOICE and VOLUNTARILY has come to a site called the MOCK DOCK and has expected to find something other than mocking.
I’m not interested in seeing an entire interview of what Goldie said. I’m interested in mocking her. And it’s not because I’m hateful. If I were hateful, I’d tell you to think about some reading comprehension classes so that the next time you land on a site called The Mock Dock, you wouldn’t expect to find a site covered with bunnies and flowers with all kinds of compliments about Goldie Hawn.
Since I’m not hateful though, I’ll just tell you that we welcome your comments here, since the time it took you to write the one above must have taken precious time away from your 17 cats and soap operas.
A sincere and hearty welcome to you, Alice!
Well Alice, you have assessed us well. When my mother and father died in the fiery blaze, stripping my family of guidance and love (and of course a pretty groovy Sky Blue Chevy Volare with a “way-back” seat) I found myself reeling near the fountain.
It was then that I knew that life was designed to hurt…nay…destroy the hopes and dreams of all of us. And so, each day this loser, Holmes Caymen, does indeed sit in front of his computer, flexing his calf muscles wondering what type of person takes the time to log-in and check out the musings on our site.
And now I have met you. I can see you, single-handedly changing the lives of the starving children in your trailer park…nay…mobile housing neighborhood. Each day waking to peel on your pink stretch pants and your freshly Febreezed Taz sweatshirt (oh how he does make you smile). Once you have sprinkled a wee bit of food in the tank for your precious fishies, Laverne and Shirley, you venture out in the noonday sun.
It is then that your work begins. Allowing your neighbors to touch your garments frees them of the leprosy, the blindness, the muted speech and gimpy legs. With a single touch of your well-chewed index finger nail, jumper cables spark life to 1982 Ford Broncos. A simple knowing nod forces the duct tape to hold the cardboard in your window that much tighter, allowing a breeze-free existence in the kitchen nook. You can practically heal the dead….cats…oh, how Lazarus needed you after Christ’s crucifixion.
You, Alice, have opened this stupid blogger’s eyes to the glory that is being Alice. It is with great honor and true repentance in my heart that I ask you for the simple truths that allow you to climb such ivory towers…to scale the very pedestal that you have put yourself upon.
My mother and father visit me in my dreams. Each night I toss and turn, knowing that love will never be given to me by another human. But, Alice, I ask that you allow me to love you.
You, Alice…you.
Absurdly yours,
Holmes Cayman
holmes@themockdock.com
Wow. Holmes, those words spoke to my soul. Yet, sadly, I’m going to have to take Alice’s side here. We should have a commitment here at the MockDock for the TRUTH. The unabridged, untainted truth. We need to achieve the highest level of blogger’s moral code. So, because of the tradegy that occured here on this post…the tradegy of mis-quoting a genius of our time…I give you the full quote of Goldie:
“When sex has gone out of marriage you’ve got to figure out if you’re going to be friends or break up. Sex is important. I think it’s a way to create more sexuality and I still feel that way about Kurt [Russell]. There are times when we want to kill each other but you’ve got to play. It’s really important. What I do like about the fact that we’re not married is that when I wake up in the morning I really do wake up fresh and re-born every day. I know that I could walk out at any moment but we chose to be together.”
Wow. Hmm…Alice, you are a moron. Now Goldie sounds MORE stupid than before. Good job you.
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