The Mock Dock

Review of the top 10 - after the jump.

Ramiele - Alone:  Why would she pick this song after Carly already kicked ass on it a couple weeks ago?  All that did was show, painfully, how much better Carly is than Ramiele.  I appreciate that Ramiele is practically a midget and can still belt out the huge notes, but she’s just not as good as other girls on the show, even when Paula makes excuses on her behalf about being sick.

Jason Castro - Fragile:  You know what, Jason Castro?  You’re kind of a dork.  But you know what else? I totally like you.  I like the way your eyebrows lift way up when you sing, so you yourself look surprised that you are hitting the notes you’re hitting.  Still - this was just meh for me tonight.

Syesha - If I Were Your Woman: First of all - can I just tell you that I couldn’t be less surprised that she’s got a black mom and a white dad?  I’m telling you, mixed kids are the best looking kids on the planet.  It just never fails.  Anyway, I love her.  This performance was utterly perfect to me.

Chikezie - If Only For One Night:  OMG his parents are the cutest parents ever.  I thought this was a great little performance, even though it was a little boring. 

Brooke White - Every Breath You Take:  Brooke looks like her mother.  Only older.  Brooke looks OLDER THAN HER MOTHER.  I don’t like that she is trying to make a song about stalking sound so sweet and romantic.  And what the hell was that false start at the beginning?  On a positive note, I like her hair straight.  And she really is impossible not to like.

Aussie Dude - Queen Medley:  I loved this. LOVE LOVE LOVED it. Love.

Carly - Total Eclipse of the Heart:  Bunny told me that Carly is pregnant.  Is this true?  And is it true that Danny Noriega is going to replace her on the summer tour?  Because you guys, if that’s true, that is HORRIBLE news.  Anyway, I love Carly.  But I thought this was a complete disaster.  I really hated it.  But she should stay.  Because in general she rocks.

Precious Archuleta - You’re The Voice:  Rosie Perez is his mom? Holy crap I had no idea.  I’m still reeling from the fact that he was born in 1990.  And you would think that since that was like 2 seconds ago, I’d recall this song.  But I don’t.  And not only do I not recall it, I also HATED it.  I thought this was terrible.

Kristy McPerfect - God Bless the USA:  Interestingly, I cry when Lee Greenwood sings this, and I also cried when Kristy sang this, but for Very Different Reasons.  I can’t believe Simon liked this.  She needs to go.

David Cook - Billie Jean:  That’s it.  I now want him to win.  Screw you, Precious Archuleta.  You’ve been replaced by the five-head.  Seriously - this was the most bizarre rendition of Billie Jean that ever was, and it completely rocked.  I couldn’t have loved it any more.

Ramiele or Kristy McPerfect or basically anyone besides David Cook should just go home now.  In fact, they should just cancel the show and give him the contract.