Elliott Yamin’s mom, the cutest monkeymom ever, died last night at age 65. I never even got the chance to put her in my pocket or anything. Sigh.
Anyway, click through the jump to read about the top nine contestants.
Gayest April Fool’s Lead-In Of All Time. Now, on to the singers. Keep in mind, I know a total of 2 Dolly Parton songs, so this is going to be based purely on how entertained I was by each person. And by the way, Dolly Parton is the cutest tiny big-boobed person ever.
Brooke White - Jolene: I thought this was fine. Not much more than fine. But genuinely fine. Brooke is a cutie, and I think she could probably do a really good Billy Idol snarly lip impression. In fact, I would like to see that.
David Cook - Little Sparrow: His hair looks soooooooooooo much better. And he’s credited all the appropriate bands so everyone needs to just shut up already about his arrangements. Bunch of crybabies. Anyway - I continue to love him. He simply can do no wrong. I loved this.
Ramiele - Whatever This Song Was : You know what? The background singers totally overpowered her. But when I could hear her, she sounded pretty good. I wasn’t blown away and don’t ever think I will be by her, but it was ok.
Jason McDreadlocks - Traveling Through: Meh.
Carly Smithson - Filling Up My Senses (?): My Carly is back. I would like to see her and David Cook in the final two. She is awesome. Simon is totally menstruating tonight, clearly.
Side note: You know what commercial I love? The one where the dude calls himself a dillweed. The AT&T one. I love it. You know what commercial I hate? The one with Mariah Carey in it. The Macy’s one. Because it has Mariah Carey in it.
David Archuleta - Smokey Mountain Something Or Other: Ok. He’s on the way to winning me back. But only as a 3rd place contender. He should not win the whole thing. But this was really really nice. It wasn’t weep-worthy, but I did like it.
Kristy McPerfect - Coat of Many Colors: This is probably the best I’ve heard her sound - and she had no excuse NOT to sound good considering this kind of music is her thang, so to speak.
Syesha - I Will Always Love You: YAY! I know this song. I like the whole sitting on the piano thing. And I liked her yellow dress. And I thought she sang this so super well. I really liked it. But ultimately, I’m afraid that she’s pretty forgettable.
Michael Johns - Whatever This Song Was: Um - an ascot? Really? I thought this performance, ascot aside, was badass. I really liked it. He should be in the top 4.
Ramiele and Kristy should be in the bottom two. I don’t care which of them leaves first.
Your thoughts?
Ok…here we go…will you guys still be my friend if I tell you that I cried when I heard Monkey Mom died? I’m a total loser…but she was the cutest pocketest mom to a goat boy ever. I loved her, and totally weld up with tears when I heard. I’m a loser.
Brooke White - I still like her, but I hated this song. And I like that Simon made fun of the violinist. So great.
David Cook - I heard he got rushed to the hospital after this. Must have been those high notes. I liked this. He is my second favorite male. More on that later.
Ramiele - I thought that too about the back up singers. It sounded like she was the backup for those girls. Not so great.
Jason McDread - I agree. Meh.
Carly - Very good. She is my fav. chick.
David McLipLicker - Better this week. He is my third fav. guy.
Kristie McPerfectPants - You know how you know you didn’t do too hot? When Paula starts her comments with your dress. If she talks about your voice first…then your outfit….you’re good. Starting with the outfit means she is frantically searching for a compliment. Be warned. Kristie sucks. She has to go. You know what I hated about her? She wasn’t given any compliments really, but she totally took them as compliments. Randy said something to the effect of “this should be your night” and she heard “this was totally YOUR night! YOU were the best!” She grinned and said “THANK YOU!”. Hate.
Syesha - Women who choose this song will never EVER get good reviews. Even if she blew the song out of the water, she would have gotten so-so reviews. To all of the future contestants reading this….never EVER pick a Mariah song. ESPECIALLY “I will always love you”.
Michael Johns. I am completely in love with him. He is my favorite BY FAR. I really truly think he is going to be in the finals. I see him and either David Cook or Carly. But I love him. Period.
Thats all. Kristy must go home. Or Ramiele. Or both. Surprise me!