OMG THE WEIRDEST THING HAPPENED

You guys.  Remember how I told you I’ve been totally sick and fighting a sinus infection?  So listen.  I started an antibiotic a few days ago - just your standard everyday run of the mill antibiotic that you take twice a day for 10 days.  And they’re capsules, not just pills, so you’re basically swallowing a tube of plastic filled with medicine.  Anyway.

So this evening, I swallow a capsule as usual. And I’m hanging out in my family room, chatting with my son, when all of a sudden I felt a need to burp.  And understand - I’m NOT a belcher. In fact, I am physically incapable of belching - I’ve tried to make an audible noise when I burp, and it just doesn’t happen. I’m one of those really dainty burpers.

So imagine my complete freakout when I let out a silent, teeny tiny burp, and a HUGE PUFF OF SMOKE flies out of my mouth.  I’m not kidding!  Out of absolutely nowhere, a CLOUD of GREY SMOKE explodes out of my mouth, and I would have totally fallen over from the very shock of it, had I not all of a sudden been choking on what turned out to be the POWDER from inside that stupid antibiotic capsule.

Have you ever heard of anything more bizarre?  And I don’t think you can fully appreciate how vile this powder tasted.  It was like if you took a spoonful of baking soda and mixed it with sawdust and threw in a pinch of vacuum dirt, and then coated it with the pulverized remains of 12 spiders.  That would have been the tasty version of this particular antibiotic.  It was that bad.  And what was worse is the fact that there was this big wad of powder stuck at the base of my throat where I could neither wash it down with water OR hock it up.

My solution?  14 oreo cookies. 

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6 Responses to “OMG THE WEIRDEST THING HAPPENED”


  1. 1 Dame Aufschneider

    It’s a Kinoki aftershock. All those pads of toxin-fighters have seeped into your body and are now pissed off at your mockery. You’re screwed.

  2. 2 angry_broad

    Smoke, huh? As long as you’re not morphing into Katherine Heigl, I’m sure you’ll be okay. ;)

  3. 3 justforlaughs

    ok, well yikes, that sounds pleasant….no capsules for me in the future please…

  4. 4 Jeff Nolan

    I’m going to do something new here, be serious. The exact thing happened to me once. I mean the exact same thing, no kidding.
    The capsules only feel like plastic, they’re dried gelatin. They can stick to the back of your throat and melt, releasing the content. The pills I was taking were Amoxacillin 500 mg capsules, red and white. I agree, the taste is indescribable. It happened to me when I felt a little tickle in my throat and coughed. I’d give it a seven on the EEEWWWW scale.

  5. 5 Jeff Nolan

    Oh, and it wasn’t smoke that came out of your mouth, it was a cloud of powder.

  6. 6 Meadow

    OH - MY - GOD - BECKY, LIKE TOTALLY GROSS ME OUT THE DOOR! This made me laugh harder than almost anything else on your blog so far…the description of the taste was Heeelarious!

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