So there is now video of Mariah Carey throwing out a ceremonial pitch at a Japanese baseball game.
You guys - I sooo want to make fun of her horrible throw, but that would mean I’d have to own up to how bad of a thrower I am. You know how people say, “Oh - you throw like a girl” and it’s meant to be kind of a put-down? Well, if someone said that to me it would be like the compliment ever, because I could only HOPE to throw like a girl. As it happens, I throw like a toddler who hasn’t learned to throw yet. My aim is impossibly bad. I can’t even blow kisses at my husband without some perfect stranger saying, “HEY! Watch where you’re blowing your kisses, jerk!” It’s that bad.
In any case, since I have now owned up to it, I’m delighted to report that Mariah Carey sucks at baseball.
That wasn’t even a one-hop, that was, like, a 14 hop! It’s probably those stupid fingernails that got in the way. Also, I won the softball throw at Field Day in the 5th grade, against girls AND boys. Sadly, this talent did not accompany me into adulthood, because I now throw like a semi middle-aged woman, which I am.