So in my quest to provide you with up to date, top of the minute news on Ashley Judd, I saw a few other blogs out there delivering the news about her speech to the UN, and lots of lemmings people commenting on those posts and buying into it all, without having the benefit of all of the background information that we here at the mockdock bring to you. You’re welcome. 
So I linked back to us, so that people could come on over here and read about Ashley’s antics for themselves. And do you know what happened? A couple of rabid holier-than-thou people JUMPED to her defense. Jumped isn’t even a strong enough word. They suicidally HURLED themselves to her defense, and then used all the standard comebacks that people use when they don’t really know what they’re talking about but they’re so clearly infatuated with a certain celebrity that they just spout off inane stuff like, “You’re just jealous” or “Go ahead and mock if that’s what helps you sleep at night”, or “Why don’t YOU go be an actor or a racecar driver and give away all your money” etc. Soooo fun!
So I sparred for a bit and then realized that it would be way more fun to write ABOUT them than it is to fight WITH them. So I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what Ashley’s loudest defenders probably look like. And here is what I came up with:
I think I’m right on about this.
listen, I’m on your side, Mock. It’s just, we are all a bit sick of all the Ashley Judd hatred going on. We all hate her. End of story. Enough already…please…for the sake of all our sanity.
He LIES,Mockarena!!! We aren’t ALL sick of it…I happen to LOVE IT WITH ALL OF MY HEART…so shut your pie hole, Phil, ol’ bean! You should at least consult with the people you speak for before you STICK YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH like that…seriously, nobody forces you to read the stuff, so bugger off if you don’t like our Mockarena’s material, you great blunderhead.
P.S. the second chick is kinda hot…I’d tap dat yo.(sorry, practicing my ‘Hooked on Ibonics’…)
Thanks, ‘Cat.
Although, I’m still not even convinced that the 2nd chick is indeed, a chick. 
easy there cat…easy. Listen, like I said, I’m on your side. But isn’t there enough mocking in the world to not focus all the attention on Ashley Judd. I mean, aren’t you just giving her what she wants? More attention? Even if it is bad publicity, she is just getting more attention.
Phil,
Growing up in the rural outland of northern Wisconsin I often found myself alone, sitting in fields of hay and barley, gazing on the setting sun as cattle low in the nearby distance. Why was I alone you ask? My family felt it best if I not be “around” during their waking hours, as I was an unwelcome accident in the uterine climes of my mother and whose very birth drove my own grandmother to the depths of depression and suicide. Thank you for your concern. But truly, I am fine.
Anyway, As I sat alone, sun setting…I would shiver as my pale white Irish skin felt the brisk night air rap upon its porous doors. I would try to stay warm by holding myself, the only hug I would ever know. But, nay, this could not warm the ****les of my heart. I often made attempts to warm my heart, and even my weary soul, by lighting the dung of my only friends, the cattle. As that smell would cling to the tiny, prepubescent hairs in my nose, my utter despair and emotional solitude would overtake my existence, and I, alone, cold and crying, would wish for Death to storm my castle and take me to its land for eternity.
But no…he could not. It wasn’t to be heard in the air that night. At once, I heard it. A Firebird maneuvering its way down a nearby dirt road carried the soft tunes of Mike + the Mechanics from its T-Tops as the engine revved in the night…su..su…su…sudio…
I knew then, PhilCollins, that I was not alone in this big swimming pool of razor blades called Life. It was then that I knew others were in this world. So I sought out to find them. And when I did, I realized how much they deserved to be mocked. especially those pretentious, self-aggrandizing prigs who think that we have to listen and gawk in amazement because they are so empty and vapid…yet wealthy. From Disney to penis necklaces to starving children sleeping in the alley behind their 5-star hotel, these people must be mocked…and loved…but more mocked.
Though we will never be able to leave our mark on this mighty orb, as we are simply bloggers and internet friends, at least we will not leave a skidmark on this dying earth like the likes of Ash and Ang.
Absurdly yours,
Holmes
holmes@themockdock.com
Phil, I think the whole point is to show that Ashley isn’t the saint her publicists and the media make her out to be and Mock’s just showing the truth. The more the media kisses Judd’s flat ass, the more Mock’s gotta balance things out.
wow cynicat. I wasn’t speaking for you at all…evidently. Thanks, though. I appreciate your…eagerness to intervene.