The Mock Dock

You know how sometimes there is just nothing that sounds better than the greasy crispy batter-y golden-y goodness that IS KFC chicken?  Welcome to my evening.  I stopped at KFC on my way home today to pick up dinner for me and Mr. Mock and Mini-Mock, and I just want to share with you my thought process while I was ordering.

Now keep in mind - my selections at KFC have ALWAYS either been the extra crispy chicken breasts OR the honey barbeque wings.  No exceptions.  But for some reason, today I decided that I was going to try to be HEALTHY at KFC.  As if “health” and “KFC” have any business even co-existing within the same sentence.  But this is what I was thinking. 

So you know what I ordered?  GRILLED CHICKEN.  Which, by the way, they are heavily advertising right now.  And because I figured I was ordering such a light fare as my main course, I decided I could easily stick with my normal side favorites - mashed potatoes and corn.  So all of that is well and good, until I come face to face with a bewitchingly delectable, tantalizingly delicious and completely irresistible chocolate cake, which just so happens to be the perfect size for 2 adults and one small child to feast on, especially if said child goes to bed before the cake is served.  And so I think to myself, “Just think of all the calories I saved by not having extra crispy chicken or honey barbeque wings!  OF COURSE I should bring home the chocolate cake.  It really just makes this meal come out totally even, calorie-wise,  in the end.”

I actually believed this.

And now, as I sit here with what feels like 1500 pounds of solid cement in my stomach, I’m thinking, “WHY THE HELL DIDN’T I GET THE EXTRA CRISPY CHICKEN!?!?!”  I mean, the meal was a total caloric overdose, really.  I may as well have at least gotten good chicken out of the deal.