Tomorrow’s my birthday, and I’m going to be all sorts of old. I don’t FEEL all sorts of old, but I’m like the kind of old where people will card me because they feel sorry for me, after I’ve given them that look that says, “Please for the love of God, card me - I’m not ready to give up my youth.” Perhaps some of you know the look I’m talking about.
It’s weird really, because I will meet people who I think are super mature and adult and the kind of people in general who you look at and think, “That person has their crap together” and then think, “Someday I too will be a full-fledged adult like that person” and then I find out that the person is YOUNGER THAN I AM.
This happens all the time.
Conversely, I also meet people who I’m absolutely sure are in my age group - you know, give or take 5 years - and I will want to befriend them and hang out with them, and then I will find out they are only talking to me because they they’re not old enough to drink and are hoping I will buy them liquor. I’m serious. That’s how warped my sense of self is.
One time, I was at a club in Vegas hanging with assorted people from my company, and the karaoke band started playing Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy” and I was totally singing along and chair dancing to it. And one of the girls I was with, who I was absolutely sure was in my age group, looked at me and said, and I am not making this up, “Who sings this?” and I said, incredulously, “Prince - you know, from the Purple Rain soundtrack.” And she said, “Hmm. I’m not familiar with his work.”
That night, I checked myself for wrinkles, varicose veins and age spots.
The greatest example ever though - was with Dame herself. Dame is a wee bit younger than the rest of us mockers, but she’s one of those old souls who grew up with older sisters and therefore was subjected to 80’s pop culture and totally gets all the references. At lunch one day, I started talking about the good old days when I used to have gobs of people over to watch Melrose Place and we all collectively freaked out about that crazy scar on Marcia Cross’ head that no one saw coming - waaaay before she was on Desperate Housewives, and I turned to Dame to say, “Did you ever do that?” and she replied:
“I wasn’t allowed to watch Melrose Place. I was 11.”
That night, I took Geritol. There was no fighting it at that point.
Anyway, happy birthday to me! Expect slower posting tomorrow, as several of us mockers are taking the afternoon off to celebrate the birth of me. A really long time ago.
Happy (early) b-day.
Don’t worry about wanting to be carded. My bro & s-i-l were getting carded in their 30’s when buying beer (both are now 50). Heck, I got carded on my 40th, while accompanied by my folks, going to a casino.
Happy Birthday Mockarena! So glad I found this site - incredibly fun!!!
A quick story…..My sister is 13 years older than me and one day we were being introduced to someone as sisters and the lady says, “which one’s older?” I had never wanted to kill someone until that moment!
Happy Birthday! I turn 38 in September and fondly remember Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy” being blasted at my 16th birthday. I sing and dance to it every chance I get (much to my teenagers chagrin). At LEAST, they know who he is and could even pick him out in a line up…My girls are as old as I was back then. THAT makes me feel old. However, every once in awhile people think I am their sister and not their mother and even though I know they’re lying, it makes me happy.
Happy Birthday! I happen to know exactly how old you are and until you hit the big 4 - 0 I don’t want to hear any complaining!
Awww - shucks you guys. I just wrote that to make you giggle. I didn’t mean to post something self-serving just to get all sorts of birthday wishes and attention out of it.
Who am I kidding. I totally did.
You guys are totally making my birthday eve!
NC Girl - you COMMENTED!!! I’ve been waiting and waiting. Miss you!
Have a great Birthday! Should we expect to see some inebriated photos on here in a couple of days
I got hit on by my 26 year old boss the other day. We were at a co-workers party. I told him that I was 39 and he just kept saying “I can’t believe your 39!!” (I think he had a bit too much to drink).
Finally, I said to him “why the hell would I lie and tell you that I 39 if I wasn’t in fact 39!!” Who would make that up???
Anyway-Happy Birthday!! FYI-I love your website.
Happy (early) Birthday Mock…
I am so glad a found a similar soul about the age thing. I too have my birthday in three days and I have to be about your age. I am in my (Hummm) thirty’s (upper) and do not feel it at all. I work with many 20 year olds who are way more mature than me and really know themselves and all I can think of is that in my 20s I was just grateful to get home without a hangover.
I just love that you wrote about your birthday/age thing. I can so relate!
I even lie on my facebook and myspace pages because I just don’t feel 36 (truth-didn’t lie to you guys). So I tell everyone I’m 30. Heck my 11 year old son is more mature than me. And like you Mock.. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to get carded. except a few days ago. I just lost my license and wanted a mature drink and I had to ask my cousin who is 9 years younger than me to buy my mature drink because she didn’t get carded and I did so they wouldn’t sell it to me because I didn’t have a license. Okay, it wasn’t too bad it just proves I look good for my 30ish year old self!
Anywho, have a fantastic birthday tomorrow!!
You know you are old when:
1) It takes every one of your invited guests to get all your candles blown out.
2) The smoke from the candles sets off the fire alarm.
3) It takes more than 1 box of candles to get the correct amount.
4) By the time they light the last candle, the first row has completely melted into the cake.
5) You tell them to hurry up with lighting the candles…you have to go to the bathroom again!
6) Your birth certificate is made of papyrus.
7) When you go out to dinner, and then you look at the check, you see that the Senior discount has automatically been deducted from the total.
When the news reports about all of John McCain’s aches and ailments, you find yourself nodding your head and saying “Yep, that’s right”.
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great time!
Ok, first of all…Happy Birthday. Secondly, thanks a lot for telling the Melrose Place story. Jerk.
By the way, I also wasn’t allow to watch the Simpsons or 90210. My husband laughs at me because I now watch old shows of the Simpsons on Fox like they are brand new.
Now that I am officially the dorkiest person alive, just know that a) 80’s music and movies will always connect us thanks to my sisters who are your same age, b) what’s a 10 year difference when you are friends who think and act the same ways, and c) let’s go get some margaritas, huh? I’m sure we will BOTH be carded.
Mockie,
I was about to tell you to have a good one when I was reminded of the late, great George Carlin. His response to that was, “I HAVE a good one. I want a longer one.”
Now heed this advice from your elder (by at least five years) pal: Be careful, and if you can’t be careful, don’t get caught.
Seriously, have a great day!
happy birthday and thanks for the laugh i can relate
Mockarena, I am about your age, too, and I found it THRILLING to be carded about a month ago! I ran home and told my husband and called my mother. I once was talking to some co-workers when the Beach Boys “California Girls” came on the radio. Being the fogey that I am, I said, “The David Lee Roth version of this is pretty average”, and one guy said, “Who is David Lee Roth?”!!!!!! I almost fell out of my chair, because, like you, I considered these people my contemporaries! Then another one said, “Oh, he used to be the lead singer for Aerosmith, right?” Then, I started crying….
I’ll be gettin’ **** faced to celebrate your birthday oh mighty mocking Queen. Thanks for giving me an excuse to do so (oh and thanks for being born too, I guess)
Seriously - THANKS, you guys! I’m totally printing this page and saving it with all my birthday cards. That’s how much of a sap I am.
P.S. I didn’t get carded today.
But it was still a great day anyhow.