What do you think? Is that a thong? Or is it just normal underwear pulled to the breaking point?
Monthly Archive for June, 2008Page 3 of 20
What kind of sadistic designer decided that this jacket would be flattering on anyone, let alone on Jennifer Love Hewitt, who - let’s face it - shouldn’t be calling any sort of extra attention to her hipular area? This is just cruel. This is like some sort of horrible prank whereby some designer who obviously hates Jennifer Love Hewitt was called upon to create an outfit for her, and decided that in lieu of a pageant-like sash which said “I Have Huge Hips” on it, (which would be too obvious) she’d just add giant bell-like protrusions right at hip level.
Mean.
I have a confession. Another one. While I love to be with my family and my friends, I really love to be alone. I am a total nerdy introvert. But that’s not the dorky part. My ultimate goal when I am alone is to think or do something that makes me laugh out loud. At myself. I cherish these moments in life.
For example, every time I hear the song “Kung Fu Fighting” in my car, I sing along. BUT, I only sing the “Huuuuuuuuuu–AHH!” ’s. Only. I will sit there listening for minutes smiley to myself, knowing what’s about to come. And then it happens. “Huuuuh.” … “Haaaaah!”
And then I giggle. Alone. To myself. And I love it.
Try it…you’ll like it. And then you can laugh to yourself.
Family Feud is an American tradition. I get it. And, we have been down a long road with the likes of Richard Dawson, Ray Combs, Louie Anderson, Al from Home Improvement and currently, Mr. Petermon. But, I am annoyed by this show. I get home around 4:30 every day, and my first thing to do when I walk through the door is turn on the tube. Typically, the station lands on Family Feud. Here is what annoys me…people suck at this game. In almost EVERY instance, the family in question gets three strikes and the other family gets to “steal.” Most often, the opponents cannot come up with the missing answer. Then, the Most. Annoying. Game Show. Moment. EVER. occurs. The final hidden answer appears with that stupid slot machine noise…and the entire audience says the unnamed answer in the droney, disappointed tone that only a television studio live audience can muster. I HATE this moment. Here is an example:
Hate.
By the way, don’t you think that woman in the first stop of the opposing team looks/sounds EXACTLY like Mary Murphy from “So You Think You Can Dance?” only younger? It’s uncanny.
If you are like me, the first time you look at this photo you think, “Geez, Lucy Lui has gained TONS of weight.” But, look again, because she is still super skinny. The fact is is that her dress perfectly matches that of the red carpet behind her. In fact, see that large square where you can see the sidewalk peeking through? I think that is where the designer of this dress cut the fabric used to make Lucy’s dress. Now that is resourceful.
I’m sorry if I offend any of you readers…but MAN do I hate Crocs. I LOATHE them. You could not pay me to wear rubber shoes with air vents and a back strap. I know Gabone feels me on this. Whenever I know someone for awhile…and I think I have a good hold on who they are as people…and then I find out they paid $40+ dollars on these hideous pathetic excuse for a pair of shoes…it makes me question my friendship with them. And now…Steven Tyler…one of the original rockers…wearing crocs. What has happened to you, Steven?
Here’s the Friday clip…watching dizzy people makes me laugh EVERY TIME. Especially dizzy people who are 7′5. Jeeze that guy is big…by the way…he tried that “look in one spot” trick each time on the dizzy wheel, and it NEVER worked. You’d think he would try something else…thankfully not though because he looks hilarious.
So this is totally the chick (seen here with their dog) that was seen “furthering her career” on her back with Mini-me in the recently leaked sex-tape. Believe it or not…she is an aspiring model…hopefully a hand model.
Does anyone else think she looks exactly like the version of Anne Hathaway that would be dallyknocking with a wee, little man? I mean sleeping with Verne Troyer to “further your career” is like trying to swim across the Mississippi River by eating Labrodor testicles and singing “Yankee Doodle Dandy” in German.
More pics of the actress/ model/ dog groomer/ Denny’s waitress here.
Zits. There is absolutely NO REASON why, at my age, I should still be breaking out. And I’m not saying I have the same sort of acne crisis as the dude in this picture. In fact, if I did, I would have figured out a way to off myself a long time ago. But every now and then, I will get one of those ridiculous and painful deep-under-the-skin zit mountains. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? You can’t pop them, and so all you can do is rely on various potions and creams and concoctions that really do nothing except make you FEEL like you might be helping move things along, when really if you just left it alone it would go away in approximately the same amount of time.
Not to embarrass them or anything, but Bunny and Dame have both complained of the same problem today. Bunny complained earlier this morning, and Dame complained at lunch about a constellation forming on the side of her face. And while I totally sympathized, I also was kind of thinking, “Phew. I’m so glad I don’t have any zits right now. Zits suck.”
So what do you think happened the moment I got back from lunch?
Yyyyyeah. A new underground mountain has formed on my chin. It’s as if having that fleeting moment of gratitude somehow jinxed my face into busting out a giant tumor. It’s like one part of my brain said, “YAY! I have no zits right now!” and another part said, “Attention, pores! Discontinue Operation Clearskin. Commence Operation Oil Overproduction immediately. Subject’s positive self-esteem must be eliminated.”
In the case of both Bunny and Dame, neither of them have the kind of zits where you want to point and mock. They’re the kind of zits where they, as the zit owners, feel intensely aware of them but no one else really notices. I don’t know if the same can be said of the new mountain I’m growing.
Ugh.
Thanks to a small spot on the morning news, I learned that in Spivey’s Corner, NC, there was – and I swear I am not making this up – a HOLLERIN’ CONTEST last Sunday. What’s more is that this is an ANNUAL event, and to the small town of Spivey’s Corner and aspiring hollerers worldwide, it is a BIG DEAL. Apparently the contest raises lots of money for the police and fire stations, so it’s for a great cause…and because of this, I will try not to mock it.
I give up. I tried. I can’t help it. I have to mock. Luckily, someone has saved me lots of time by producing a video which adequately captures all the mocketacious mockability of this contest. Watch it. At the very least, it is powerful evidence for the theory of evolution. And it makes me think of all the fun Weird Al could have mocking Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl”.
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