So Mr. Mock and I are strolling along Navy Pier this weekend, when he spies the woman above. “LOOK at her shoes!” he says to me. And I look, and I say to him, “I must take a photo. For this woman has clearly stolen Shauna Sand’s shoes.” So we sat on some stairs near her and discreetly snapped photos. Here’s a closer look:
You guys - if you haven’t been to Navy Pier, you may not realize just how much WALKING is required to not only get there, but to have any kind of fun there whatsoever. I wore Birkenstocks or Teva’s pretty much the whole weekend, and I have totally developed hip bursitis from all the walking. This is, I will admit, due more to my usual LACK of walking long distances than my choice of footwear. But regardless, If I wore shoes like the ones above, I would last approximately 4 steps before breaking an ankle or at the very least getting a WICKED blister. I mean, this is just dumb.
So on our way back to the hotel from Navy Pier, we saw this:
Not only did this woman look completely wasted and several years older than her companion, but she was wearing a SHINY GOLD DRESS with knee high brown boots. This was at 2 in the afternoon. AND, Mr. Mock caught the dude grabbing her boob a couple times (you can see how strategically he’s situated his hand to hold her up). I can’t even begin to imagine what possible string of events and decisions led to this outfit at this time of day. Any ideas?
People-watching is the BEST.
The girl in the gold dress has obviously pulled an allnighter among other things.
Oddly enough, I was wearing those same shoes on Friday night at a July 4th party. After I had been there for a while, someone wanted to challenge me to a game of Badminton, so I removed the shoes and changed into my AirShuttlec o c ks. When I was done completing destroying all of my competitors, I returned to the yard, to find the shoes missing. Did you by any chance get her license plate number? I forgot to Lojack the bad boys…I guess I live to learn…hope she enjoys wearing MY shoes….jerk!
And yes…that is a strategic hand placement…well-played sir, well-played…you stole my move…and I am proud of you! Apparently I need a new move…anyone volunteering to help me work on my “new move”?
The woman in the see through shoes obviously just finished making a porn flick and forgot to change back into her “everyday” shoes. The gold dress…all I can say is that her purse does not match the boots, and in that outfit that’s a tragedy.
I say that you should present photos of yourself in your “hippy shoes” and let us evaluate the merits of style vs. comfort…..acrylic platforms vs. reef sandals/Birkinstocks…..if you take most of the hits in the comments, you have to wear Crocs on your next foray to the big city.
As for the wacked out couple, there are like half a million Russians and Ukrainians in the Chicago area, and these two show all the signs of being two of the half mil……..drunk in broad daylight, chick in bizarro world outfit, doing stuff that people usually only do when goaded into it on Howard Stern. Hopefully they are on their way home to consume some pelmeni that will absorb a liter of vodka.
These women are clearly hookers. CLEARly!
I am so proud of you for finally admitting on the Dock that you (frequently) wear Teva’s. Since you brought up my falling habits…I have to just say that those Tevas….as bad as Crocs. You know it, I’ve known it, and now this Mocking Community knows.
@Kitty–I was totally going to call the woman in the gold dress a hooker! I think the black woman just thinks she’s fashionable…
@Holmes– what kind of move can someone help you with over the internet? Virtual boob-grabbing? (oh, wait, that’s your OLD move)
I’ll have to look up Tevas to see if they are as hideous as Crocs. For the comfort factor though, Clark’s makes some comfy, good-looking shoes, FYI.
Well one thing I know is that the woman in the gold dress was certainly havng a more memorable weekend (that’s assuming she remembers any of it) than I’ve had in loooooooooooong time.
Holmes stick with the tried and true.
The tried and true doesn’t seem to work…I need practice…I am so lame…
I will have all of you know that I am a total knock-out in Teva’s. You’re just going to have to take my word for it.
For serious, you need to make some sort of “freaky footwear” section on this site. You certainly have more than enough material…
Give the lady in the plastic shoes a break. She clearly works hard for her money (stripping) and likes to spend it on nice things (plastic shoes and imitation Louis Vitton). Go girlfriend..