So it turns out that Mockarena, Bunny and Dame are away from our established place of work and leisure today. Leaving me to bask in the glory of flourescent lightbars and neutral colored walls… alone. As they are away jetting across country or reveling in families that love them, I am sitting tip-tapping away on this amazing mechanical memory machine completely flaccid to the world around me.
With the noon-hour approaching I could hear colleagues tenderly lifting their flattened heinies from their lumbar-supporting hydraulic chairs to find the company of a friend. To enjoy a simple nosh accompanied by brilliant discussions. I imagine each group laughing, discussing the themes of solitude and righteous indignation in Algren’s Somebody in Boots, divining the platitudes leveled in last night’s CSPAN discussion covering the state of biotechnology in drought-resistant crops, or even enjoying light-hearted banter about Timmy’s head-first slide into second that didn’t quite get him to the bag.
As each of these empty souls find respite in there noon-time interaction, I sit in my hovel eating “Cup-o-Noodles” and crying a single tear. The same tear I cry each night…alone…as I am now.
Mockarena, Bunny, Dame. Please come back. I need you.
Absurdly yours,
Holmes
Poor lonely Holmes! You could always devote yourself to getting back at your comrades for abandoning you. Link all of their paper clips together into a long chain. Super-glue writing implements to the desks. Leave empty chocolate bar wrappers strewn around their habitats. Or you could just bail and go find something fun to do.
How about wrapping their desk phones with about four rolls of duct tape?
Hey - just because we’re gone doesn’t mean we’re not reading all of these tricks you’re plotting.
Miss you too, buddy. See ya on Monday!
Uhoh– we’re busted!
Awww, Holmesy, I’ll be your friend!
Holmesy…we already have pet names…and so quickly….my little Sbarrita…