You may or may not recall that Holmes is deathly afraid of snakes. I hate them too, because seriously - who doesn’t? But he hates them the MOST. Like, the most most.
So imagine, if you will, having a regular Saturday at home, doing your regular Saturday housework, and going to grab a load of laundry out of the washer to toss in the dryer. And imagine then, opening up the washer and coming face to face with a GIANT PYTHON.
Yeah, that’s what happened to this lady in Maine. Somehow, Slithery McSnakerson figured out how to get into the water pipes and right into the washer. During the rinse cycle, in all likelihood.
Anyway, she did what probably anyone would do - which was close the lid. Only contrary to what I think most people would do, apparently she GINGERLY closed the lid so as not to HURT THE SNAKE. I would have slammed it down as hard as I could and then yelled for Mr. Mock to get his gun.
After she shut the lid, the Maine lady called the police, animal control and even had the composure to email the local news channel. WTF?! I would have run out of my house screaming, no matter what stage of dress I happened to be in, straight to the nearest realtor office at which time I would have promptly put the house up for sale.
So some brave dude from Maine Animal Damage control came to collect the beast from the washer, and reported that he had, earlier in the year, taken a snake out of some lady’s SHOWER HEAD. Are NO WATER SOURCES SAFE ANYMORE!??!
Maine lady says she’s going to be checking water sources in her home a little more carefully now, stating that she’s “just a little paranoid right now.” Um…well, YEAH. It’s not like it was even just a garden snake, although that could have easily sent me over the edge. It was a freaking EIGHT FOOT PYTHON.
I’m telling you right now that if something like this ever happens to me, I will need to be committed. I can’t even imagine what poor Holmes would do!!
Holy ****. I heard something liked that happened, but I don’t know where or when (Jersey?) A huge boa was actually found in someone’s toilet.
No matter where I find a snake, no matter what size, I always react the same way. Scream at the top of my lungs and run away like a little girl. And possibly change my underpants afterwards as well.
Holmsey is afraid of snakes? Got a little bit of Indiana Jones in him, eh? Being a Mainer myself, I have to tell you that our water sources are usually from wells, which could potentially harbor all kinds of things. Especially, when you live near a lake or river as I do. Now I have never had snakes in our shower or washer, but when we were remodeling the room which is now my home office, there was a snake nest in the walls. We relocated the snakes to the field out back…If I found a snake in my washer, I would probably close the lid and call my husband…he is the ultimate superhero, afterall.
I was talking with a friend the other day about how my cat loves to run into the bathroom and look in the toilet when I am headed that way. I always assumed the point was to be a nusiance and get in my way, and I still think that, but at least if I see the cat clinging to the ceiling light fixture after she looks in the toilet, I’ll know to look before I sit down.
Sorry, gang, but I find this woman’s story highly suspect. An 8-foot python is fairly substantial in circumference, whereas the pipes leading to washers are not. Take a peek behind your washer and look at the hose that connects the washer to the water source. A woman’s clenched fist is more or less the same width as a large python’s head, so if you can fit your fist through the pipes that connect your washer to your water source, then possibly a honking big snake could get in, too. But then he’d be trapped between the outside of the washtub and the metal shell that houses the washer. He’d have to bash through the top or side of the washtub to get inside it. Someone may have put the snake in there but there is no way a snake of that size could get into a washer through the pipes. The toilet pipes are larger, so I don’t find it unreasonable that a snake could get up through the septic pipes. I love snakes, and used to carry a friend’s 7-foot python wrapped around my waist with her head hanging over my shoulder, so I’m pretty familiar with how big pythons can get. All you snake-fearers can send the scaly guys to me and I’ll either find them homes if they’re pets or turn them loose in the woods next to my house to help keep the mouse population out of my art studio.
Wordwych, snake charmer
I think wordwych is right. However, since a friend of mine once found a GIANT DROWNED RAT in her washer that had entered it in the conventional way (fell in when lid was left open) I think the snake could have gotten in this way as well.
For Holmes I will defer to my Papa-by-marriage who states authoritatively: “All snakes are dangerous. You can hurt yourself pretty badly trying to get away from them.” In his case he broke his ankle trying to escape from a venemous-looking water hose, but that is a different story.
One should note that their are no native poisonous snakes or spiders in the state of Maine. The harmful ones are brought in as pets.
I actually read this story in the local paper and I believe the snake crawled in the washing machine looking for a cool place. They are cold-blooded animals.
Allow me to state this here and now…I AM AFRAID OF SNAKES! This does not emasculate me. As a matter of fact, as I type this, I am power-lifting a 55-gallon drum of crude oil and satisfying all of you ladies (sorry fellas, Holmes just swings for the chicks’ fences). See I am still a man…this fear does not make me any less…so there…nahnahbooboo…
Holmes, you are totally right. Being afraid of snakes doesn’t emasculate you. You are totally The Man. Everybody’s afraid of something. I’m fine with handling - and even cuddling - reptiles, amphibians, spiders and rodents, but if a moth or a flying beetle (except for ladybugs, which I like) get in my house, I completely freak out! Seriously, it is all I can do to refrain from getting the shotgun out. I have dented walls in my frantic attempts to kill one of those vile little things, and my brother made many a mocking remark as he dutifully spackled the dents I left in my condo so we could paint the walls and pretend that I didn’t go inexcusably mad over a couple of itty bitty fluttery things.
My weakness is maggots. Ewww. I cringed at typing it.
Adds a new meaning to snaking the drain.
or if its your toilet, draining the snake.