Do you want to hear the funniest thing ever? Paris Hilton just turned down the role of Roxie Hart in Chicago for a London-based production because she was too busy.
Apparently, she would have had to work 6-day weeks on the stage production and she said, ”We did some rehearsals, but then I found out it was six days a week for a couple of months. I was flattered, but with my schedule, there was no way I could fit it in.”
Do you guys realize how ridiculous that is? WHAT IS PARIS HILTON BUSY DOING? What could possibly be on her schedule? If I had to craft an itinerary for Paris, I would guess it looks a lot like this:
12pm: Wake up to the gentle breezes of two giant palm leaves being fanned over her entire body by man slaves.
1pm: Eat 2 grapes.
1.15pm: 2 hour massage
3.15pm: Hair and Make-up
5.15pm: Shopping
8.15pm: Dinner at best photo-opportunity restaurant
9.30pm: Clubbing for photo opportunities and/or watching boyfriend play in his “band”
12am: Obligatory sex with boyfriend
12.07am: Sleep
Now that I review it, it really doesn’t look like she WOULD have time to spare for an actual job. My bad.
Don’t forget her obvious obsession with spray tanning. She has to maintain her orange glow so her schedule must be quite full.
Oh, my God. She looks like an Oompa Loompa in this photo. Plus, it would be hard enough to listen to her play Roxie, just like it was hard to watch Renee Zellweger try to play sexy (those beady eyes… they creep me out…).
Anything she turns down is a benefit to society. Just saying
I would just hate her, but unfortunately the unwashed masses have made her what she is.
My husband and I were coming home from England last March, and we were stuck at Heathrow for two hours with this woman and her tattooed boyfriend. First, she comes into the terminal wearing a black satin hoodie with enormous Asian-looking emblems in gold on the back, with the hood pulled up and her oversized sunglasses on. Not exactly an unobtrusive outfit. The boy, in turn, is wearing that stupid hat, sunglasses, and his tattoos. They walked into the VIP lounge for British Airways. I was relieved.
Alas, it didn’t last. They emerged and Paris went into the Swarovski store (or whatever it’s called), and led the salesgirls on a skip around the store — literally. She kept dashing from one side of the store to the other, pointing at various articles and making the girls take them out for her. At one point, I turned to see her jumping up and down, and clapping her hands while squealing.
In the meantime, a crowd of lemmings was gathering. They stood about 15 feet away, snapping pictures of the pathetic pair with their digital cameras and cell phones. A few of them even got on their cell phones to call and tell their friends. The crowd grew and grew, and BenjiBoy got more and more sullen, looking extremely put-upon anytime anyone asked to have their picture taken with him. My husband and I were thoroughly disgusted, but it really brought home to me how stupid most people behave when they recognize someone from the tabloids. It’s our own fault, really.
The way her mouth is open, she looks just like a blow-up doll.