So I drove back from St Louis today. In the virginal Avenger. TWO TURKEYS today, people. Together even. On the side of the highway. Is this some sort of new turkey phenomenon? Does this kind of stuff happen to people other than me?
That’s not my question though. Today’s question for the ladies is this:
Have you ever, in the history of your life, responded in some positive way to truckers honking at you? Or for that matter, to cat calls of any sort?
Now before you say, “Umm…Mock, those weren’t catcalling honks. Those were honks because you were driving like a madwoman” let me just assure you that I was NOT driving like a madwoman. I was driving like a regular driver - obeying all the pertinent driving rules and regulations (except the speed limit, which I was about 10 over). So there was no other reason for me to be honked at OTHER THAN truckers being total creeps.
Seriously - why do men do this? Has any man been successful at this? Like, who is the woman who gets honked at and then rolls down her window and says, “You were honking at me? Why - let’s just both pull over right here and have some relations of a sexual nature right now! That honking really turned me on!!”
If you are that woman, or if you know that woman, or if you’re a man who has ever catcalled at a woman and received a remotely positive outcome, up to and including relations of a sexual nature from said catcall, I would like to hear your stories.
I don’t know who the mythical honking-turns-me-on woman is, but if we ever find her, we should kill her. A lot.
As for the turkeys, who can say? They’re not the brightest of creatures. Tasty, though.
So I work in construction (I am a female, I work in the jobsite trailers doing all the paperwork) So I have many times come across the cat calling. Let me tell you what I’ve learned. They will never do it when you are in close proximity to them because they are actually quite shy chickens. If you do respond to them they get SO freaking shy and embarrassed and “I don’t know what to do with myself” it’s GREAT FUN! So for your own entertainment I suggest that next time this happens you do make a silly return as though you are serious because the reaction is fun. No don’t worry, I’ve not met one that is scary and think you’re serious. Again, all chickens.
I was out with a group of gal pals a few years ago. We were walking down the street to the movie theater, apparently on pimped out car night. We are all rather cute ladies and so of course this stupid a$$ honked his horn and leaned out his window and yelled something along the lines of hey baby. I, being a big loud mouth and not at all afraid of embarrassing myself and my friends when out in public, replied with a “Oh yea baby let me just rip off my pants so you can take me now” in my most sarcastic voice possible. The tool that was driving this retarded suped up car actually stopped as if I were serious. I then had to spend about 15 minutes explaining to him that he was mistaken, that honking would never work on a girl you didn’t have to pay for and to please turn off the neon lights inside his car because they were lowering my IQ.
Needless to say I now keep my opinions to myself and simply ignore when silly boys honk or whistle at me.
It must have worked at one point, with some incredibly intoxicated woman with no self-image, because I get honked at and screamed to frequently when I’m walking to work. The losers must think it works. It freaks me out. Nothing like walking on the edge of a busy road (no sidewalks, joy) and having some jackass in a cheap car with expensive rims yell out at me. Buttholes. All of them.
No.
Worse than honking and cat calls are the guys that as walking past get their heads RIGHT close to a girl’s ear and make a sucking noise… or say some word related to genitalia. Yes it happens in some countries and believe me, honking is nothing compared to that…. AAAARGH!
My favorite comeback to those times is to yell as loud as possible “Sorry you have a tiny penis!” Stops them in their tracks.
Of course it is all ridiculous–no woman in her right mind would ever allow something like that to actually work on her. BUT. My reaction is that I roll my eyes and go about my business, but down deep, I get the tiniest boost to my ego. It’s good for the soul when you’re having a “fat” day.
I have always ignored these cat calls/honking but I may take Sunshyndrmr’s advice here. Next time it happens, I’m calling the guy out on it. Either that or SnarkyBritches tiny penis approach.
As far as the turkey thing, I have seen groups of them walking down my driveway before. I don’t live on a rural road either. I live in the middle of a fairly large neighborhood. Crazy, huh?