HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP

An alert and astute mockdocker sent us this photo of a woman who apparently is in the Guiness Book of World Records for having really crooked knees.

KIDDING.  She’s in there for having boobs the size of small countries.  She’s like a super double ZZZ or something.  Like a bra size that someone just made up out of thin air for lack of having enough actual letters to categorize those monstrosities.

But you know what’s worse?  The email included photos taken at various angles.  And, horrifyingly, there were a couple of photos of those things WITHOUT A BRA to hoist them to waist level.  I’m not going to subject you to the full nakedness, but I do believe it’s important for you to see this:

You know you have big boobs when Aretha Franklin looks flat-chested next to you.

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22 Responses to “HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP”


  1. 1 Diana

    I think my back broke just looking at that. I don’t think I’ll complain about bra shopping ever again.

  2. 2 Olivia J. Snarkypants

    Look at the way her bra straps are digging into her shoulders. I bet she actually has grooves in her shoulders from it.

    Seriously, the size of her nipples must be HUGE!

  3. 3 SnarkyBritches

    Whu…

    But…

    I mean…

    but how…

    Who can…

    I just…

    *brain implodes*

  4. 4 Wicked

    i am LMFAO @ how it only takes one bar to cover both her nips AND her hooha at the same time.

    ew.

  5. 5 sbarros

    well damn, I’m impressed that she can stand. She should look into reduction surgery so she can find her belly button!

  6. 6 Captain Ana Banana

    I can’t believe that she actually takes the time to put on makeup and accessories in an attempt to look beautiful. I think when your boobs get to the point where they can actually cover your vag, you miiight want to consider surgery.

  7. 7 Anonymous

    Question: How much breast milk do you think she can hold?

  8. 8 sbarros

    I wonder how much they weigh? I bet each one is heavier than Nicole Richie.

  9. 9 wordwych

    D**n it! I KNEW I should have gone to bed without looking at this. Now I’m going to have nightmares. What does this woman do for a living? What *could* she do for a living, other than sell these photos to the mammary fetish crowd? It’s not like she could work at a computer (I don’t see how her arms would be long enough to reach around those things to get to the keyboard). Oh wait - I see now. She’s a hat model. It’s right there in the second photo.

  10. 10 Pris

    She actually got in the book of records for the strongest back muscles in this planet.

  11. 11 Gabone

    I was subjected to this email as well. I will never be the same.

  12. 12 mlm

    I just had a sympathetic back spasm. OUCH!

  13. 13 Buckeye Bob

    Think she could pass the pencil test?

  14. 14 Crabby

    Can you imagine when she is like 80? Those tube socks will be dragging the ground for sure!

  15. 15 Crabby

    Says they are a 56WW Makes my petunias look like pencil points.

  16. 16 46cruiser

    All I have to say is; “LOOK AT THE FUNBAGS ON THAT HOSE HOUND!!!”

  17. 17 mlm

    She could kill someone with one of those.

  18. 18 justforlaughs

    Even that bra isn’t big enough! She’s oozing out the sides! Sheesh!

  19. 19 AmericanBridgetJones

    For goodness sake, I had a reduction-and I was ONLY (that being the operative word when comparing myself to this lady) a EEE.

    My doctor told me that the first thing I said when I came to after the surgery was, “This is the first time since I hit puberty that my back doesn’t hurt!”

    I feel sad for her, because insurance could take care of that little…er…huge problem.

  20. 20 amanda

    I’ll bet her nipples are the size of dinner plates. OMG.

  21. 21 Hatchetwoman

    My husband would say, “Well, at least she has a soft place to kneel.”

  22. 22 rosie too

    No, no, no, no. Why, oh why is this woman smiling???

    When I was a teenager, I remember a nurse telling me that older women sometimes forgot to lift up their breasts to wash underneath them. The mental image of this scarred me forever. And now all I can think is how does she clean under those things? Aaack.

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