The Mock Dock

Awkward.

Mockarena — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 02:53:13 +0000

This is Kylie Minogue and her new gigantic boyfriend. Kylie is 5′0. Her gigantic boyfriend is 6′2. This is why she looks like his 6 year old daughter. A loooooong time ago, I briefly dated a youth. I say “youth” because I was 28 and he was 21, which, when you’re in your twenties, means you’re about [...]

Now With Added Wonkiness!

Mockarena — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 02:20:39 +0000

It’s one thing for Jewel to go around smiling with her wonky tooth. But now this? Isn’t her tooth enough wonk for one person? She’s got to add some boobular wonk now? You can’t tell me that she isn’t AWARE of her own breastular deformity. I mean, SURELY she can see what’s going on when she [...]

Britney Spears Logic

Mockarena — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 00:59:42 +0000

So word on the street is that Britney has been missing rehearsals for her upcoming Circus World Tour (which, considering that Daisy, Leroy and I are going to the concert so that we can mock her, will make it this much more awesome). And do you know why she’s skipping them? Because she apparently feels like [...]

You Know Who Could Stand To Eat Some Doritos?

Mockarena — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 00:59:26 +0000

Teri Hatcher. Teri Hatcher should eat some doritos, dipped in butter and then glazed with cooking oil, and then sprinkled with high calorie protein powder. I think she’s going for the Jennifer Lopez pout in this photo, and you know no one does the Jennifer Lopez pout like Jennifer Lopez. Fail.

Wii - THE UPDATE

Mockarena — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:34:24 +0000

I know it’s been literally KILLING YOU that I haven’t yet told you how I like my new Wii. And the reason I haven’t told you is because it has taken me a couple of days to figure out if I like it or not. My assessment follows: So I get home late from work Tuesday [...]

I Know The Election Is Long Over…

Mockarena — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 20:06:23 +0000

But I cannot stop laughing at this. Best. Video. EVER.

You Know What I Hate?

Mockarena — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:27:51 +0000

Embedded video from CNN Video Cancer. What a cruel, awful, horrible beast of a disease. You know what I love? I love that Patrick Swayze and his wife are one of those truly rare Hollywood marital beacons of hope. 33 years of marriage, you guys. LOVE.

More Crazy Baby Names

Mockarena — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:15:13 +0000

Remember Lisa Bonet? She just had a baby, and named him Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa. And that’s just his first name. KIDDING! That’s his whole entire name. It means a whole bunch of stuff that has to do with power and storms and fire or something. I didn’t care enough to do more than skim, because I just [...]

BOO!

Mockarena — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:07:41 +0000

Remember the last time I posted photos of Nikki Cox and some of you were all, “That’s photoshopped” and “That can’t be real” and “You are the best blogger of all time, Mockarena”? Well, here’s a picture of her from the People’s Choice Awards. They’re real, you guys. I mean, not real as in natural, obviously, but [...]

Lesson To Men Everywhere

Mockarena — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 00:15:07 +0000

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me an AP article today about an Australian woman who has been charged with murder, after she set her husband’s wee-wee on fire because she thought he was cheating on her. The 44 year old woman fessed up to her neighbors that she set him on fire because she saw him [...]