There is no question that Renee Zellweger always looks like she’s eaten a lemon. We’ve discussed this here and here and here before. But you know what I realized when I saw this picture? It’s not so much that she looks like a lemon sucker (which she obviously does), it’s that her face seems like it doesn’t have enough elasticity to support the expressions she wants to make.
Case in point: this photo, in which she is probably laughing hysterically, but barely able to squeak out a tiny smile. Maybe this is really what’s going on here. Maybe she has some sort of human elasticity disorder.
I could really be on to something here, you guys. Maybe this post will catch the attention of Important Medical People who will study her and end up naming this elasticity disorder after her, and it’ll be called something like Zellwegorian Elasticity Reduction Syndrome* or something really important sounding like that, and the asterisk will forever more be footnoted at the bottom of really important scientific/medical documents as saying “Discovered by Mockarena” and then I will be paid millions of dollars for my important medical discovery.
I don’t think you all realize how famous I could potentially become. You should really start appreciating me more.
I thought I was the only person who noticed that she always sucks in her cheeks and puckers her lips when she’s being photographed on the red carpet.
I don’t know what it is about her — she’s not pretty, but it’s like she’s just one step away. Maybe you’re right and it’s the expression on her face.
then there’s probably something wrong with me, because i really think she’s pretty
Isn’t another word for “Zellwegorian Elasticity Reduction Syndrome” Botox?
Why in the world did she marry Kenny Chesney for 30 days? Maybe it was related to her lack of face.
it’s like rigor mortis has set in already on her face.
You could blindfold her with a shoelace!
There are few people on this earth who make me recoil the way Lemony McSourface does. I can’t stand her. She makes me cringe. I want to pry her eyelids open with toothpicks and stretch her face out. And then put a paper bag over it. Permanently.