Jessica Simpson Thinks Pouting Looks Sexy

Look at this. Isn’t this the most ridiculous picture of Jessica Simpson ever?  NO DISRESPECT TO PEOPLE WITH SPECIAL NEEDS intended here, but she looks like she has one of those mental disabilities that makes you always have your mouth hanging open.  Like, if you photoshopped some drool dripping down her chin, she wouldn’t look any more or any less incapacitated than she already does here.

P.S. Stampede is a dumb name for a beer.

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17 Responses to “Jessica Simpson Thinks Pouting Looks Sexy”


  1. 1 Christine

    She will sell just about anything huh?? From tuna to greeting cards to make up that tastes like candy to acne meds to beer. What else has she endorsed? What won’t she endorse? What would you love to see her endorse?

  2. 2 Christine

    Hi there, my name is Jessica Simpson. When I want to get smashed and have a realistic vacant look on my face, I am sure to slam back a few Stapede Lights. Nothing makes drool run out of my mouth more than a quick six pack of good ole Stampedes and a big plate of nachos with extra jalapeno peppers.

    Mmmm…. nachos…. GO COWBOYS!!!

    Is this fish or chicken I am eating??

  3. 3 MerlinDBear

    A “Be Smart” campaign featuring Jessica “Chicken of the Sea” Simpson?
    And people say God doesn’t have a sense of humor.

  4. 4 kitschy

    the irony is, the ad talks about “being smart” and she looks as dumb as a sex doll - as always, no need to pount for that.

  5. 5 Anonymous

    *pout (jeez, i was also thinking about something else…)

  6. 6 mikey

    Stampede’s ad agency must have a sense of humor. How else could they construct an ad using the word smart four times AND having Jessica looking (as Kitschy aptly described) looking dumb as a sex doll. If they wanted “smart” they should’ve hired Tina Fey and not someone from the “nice house but nobody home” crowd.

  7. 7 Jill

    I don’t think she’s as dumb as everyone thinks…she’s managed to parlay that dumb blonde image into mega bucks.

  8. 8 Olivia J. Snarkypants

    She kind of looks like she’s in the middle of saying something. Like it’s not a real shot, just a photographer’s revenge.

  9. 9 amanda

    How in hell does that picture have anything to do with selling beer? I get the opposite reaction here. It makes me never want to try Stampede beer. Ever. Sitting on some hay in the back of a truck with a cowboy hat on does not make her a beer drinker.
    Also, I second the sex doll comment. :P

  10. 10 rosie too

    The, um, pout is bizarre, but not nearly as disturbing as the vacant look in her eyes. Are we certain this isn’t some kind of Madame Tussaud’s stand-in?

  11. 11 Anonymous

    Also, can’t help but wonder–beer plus what, exactly?

  12. 12 Christine

    This isn’t your ordinary light beer. This stuff is light beer plus.

    The plus is vitamins. They are calling this stuff a healthy beer, and Jessica Simpson has lended her healthy image to a new beer. Which, by the way, is her new favorite beer.

    Do you think they make a pre-natal variety so Ashley can drink up?

  13. 13 wordwych

    Maybe that vacant look appeared when someone asked her to spell “stampede” and her brain shorted out.

  14. 14 Violet

    Fake hair, fake lips, fake talent

    Needs to take a flying leap.

    Enough said.

  15. 15 mlm

    Her tongue even looks like it’s hanging out of her mouth a little. Ew.

  16. 16 Pris

    You get that look if you survive a stampede of say cows or wild horses.
    She should’ve looked a bit more disheveled though… some hoof-shaped bruises, some dirt…

    So see, it does make some sense!

  17. 17 Jordon

    lOl she does look kind of stupid there

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