OMG before I tell you what I hate, I have to tell you the greatest thing about the picture above. I did an image search for a hospital, found this picture, clicked on it, and GUESS WHAT IT IS. It’s a drawing of a hospital in a town called MOCKSVILLE, in North Carolina. How perfect is that? I should so live in Mocksville. If you live in Mocksville, you must immediately write and tell me all about it.
ANYWAY, back to what I hate.
I hate hospitals. And not even for just the normal reasons that people hate hospitals – like all the sickness and disease and death and all of that. I mean, that stuff is a given. But what I totally hate is the process-heavy, wasteful red tape of hospitals. Listen to this.
I had to take my older son in for an MRI a few weeks back. Not a big deal, except that he was going to get general anesthesia for it because it’s impossible to convince ANY kid, let alone a kid with special needs, to sit totally still for 45 minutes. So I’m told by the hospital to arrive, with my son, at 7am.
I arrive at 7am and check in at the desk, where I’m given 28 pieces of paper to fill out. Let me just say this. I take my son to this particular hospital at least 3 times a year, and I am required to fill out these same pieces of paper EVERY SINGLE TIME. But I’m in a good mood that day…so I figure, what’s one more time. And I dutifully complete the questionnaires and authorizations and insurance forms and privacy forms and patient rights etc. etc. etc. and turn them in to the mean snotty lady at the desk. She hands me a very nice packet, which contains a hospital pen, a hospital notepad, and copies of all the forms I’ve just completed. WASTE OF MONEY. You know they’re working in the cost of this totally unnecessary notebook into the already sky-high costs of just taking a breath in that hospital.
THEN, after waiting about a 1/2 hour, we are called back into a 2nd, smaller waiting room. You feel all important and happy when they call your name after that long wait, but all that happens is that you go to wait in another, smaller room. So we wait some more. And about 15 minutes later, in comes a Nursing Assistant. She proceeds to ask me all the questions on the form I’ve filled out just 45 minutes earlier. And I dutifully answer them, even though she is looking at the very same answers I wrote down on the form. She leaves.
In walks a Nurse Practitioner, who proceeds to ask me all the questions on the form I’ve filled out just 55 minutes earlier. I answer them, irritated, and not hiding it very well. I ask her to also take a quick look at my son’s knee, which as a sore spot on it, and she agrees it looks sore. I ask her for a soft brace of some sort. She looks panicked, as though I’ve asked for her to hand over her first born. She says, “I’ll have to see what I can do, ” and leaves.
In walks a Patient Liaison, who proceeds to ask me all the questions on the form I’ve just completed over an hour ago. I lose it. I say, “You realize that you’re the 3rd person to ask me the questions on that form, which I have ALREADY ANSWERED right there, on the actual form you’re reading the questions from?” And she says curtly, “Hospital policy, ” and continues her interrogation. We hate each other. She leaves.
In walks the Nurse Practitioner, who informs me that the anesthesiologist will be in shortly to talk with me. I say, “How’s it coming with that knee brace?” and she says, “Unfortunately we don’t have the right kind of bandage here. I’ve checked with our occupational services group and they can’t help. You’ll have to talk with your regular physician.” I say, “Am I, or am I not, in a HOSPITAL? Aren’t you guys, by definition, up to your eyeballs in bandages and braces and other MEDICAL SUPPLIES?!” and she says, “No. That is not how it works here. Everything must be ordered and inventoried and have a corresponding purchase order and authorization.” THIS IS WHY healthcare costs so much, people. Because of this kind of insanity. I give up on the brace, and ask, “Say there, Nurse Practitioner- seeing as how we’ve been here an hour and a half already, could you tell me when my son is actually going to have his MRI? “ And she says, “The MRI isn’t scheduled until 9am.”
At this point, I would have asked her for blood pressure medication because I was ready to explode with anger, but realized that it would have to be inventoried and purchase ordered, so I simply said, seething, “WHY then, was I told to arrive at 7am?”
And she says, “To make sure all the paperwork got completed and processed.” Can you even believe this? THREE PEOPLE asked me the same questions that they were looking at the answers to already. FOR NO REASON, except, apparently, to fill up an hour an a half and to provide people with jobs that are completely useless. Seriously – “Patient Liaison” – WTF is that?
Finally, the MRI was completed without incident, after which my son was sent to recovery for an additional hour. I signed like 4 forms to “discharge” him, and then was given copies of all these forms. A 45 minute MRI took us, then, four and a half hours. And this is PRIVATE MEDICINE, you guys. If the government gets their grubby paws into the healthcare system, we are SCREWED.
You know what should have happened? I should have waltzed in there at around 8.45, confirmed to the desk person all of the information that they have in their computer from the 85 billion other times we’ve been there, gotten prepped by the nurse and doc, gotten the MRI, and been done. There was absolutely no reason for all that other nonsense.
HATE.
I live in NC, and have been to Mocksville. If I ever get down that way again, I’ll have to take a photo of the sign and send it to you.
Sorry about your frustration w/the medical industry. Mine’s with the dental industry right now. This morning I wasted 2.5 hours and dropped $175 today against my policy’s $1,500/year cap to learn that the dentist I saw can do NOTHING about the abscessed teeth that have me popping ibuprofen like candy every 3.5 hours. Can’t call in pain pills, can’t call in antibiotics, can’t extract. Gotta see an oral surgeon for extractions or root canals ($1,200 each!). But the dentist and hygienist were oh so ready to do a cleaning. WTF? I felt like they were saying, “Too bad about that pain throbbing up from your jaw to the top of your skull. That probably sucks, but – hey – we’ll clean your teeth for you and here’s a spiffy new toothbrush!”
Yeah that whole “saving lives” thing. Who do they think they are? Rat bastards.
Couldn’t agree more Mockarena. I’ll spare you my own personal hospital stories, but just know, I completely empathize. You’re right, if the democrats have their way, health care will be ‘free’ but at what cost? My brother in law is a physician and he says it’s the worst possible plan ever. Hospital ER’s cannot refuse a patient for inability to pay, so people who want free health care just need to keep visiting the ER’s. Yes, it screws the rest of us over, but it’s STILL cheaper than universal health care.
IndyKathy – I APPRECIATE the life saving. I really do. I just don’t see why it requires 3 people to do the same paperwork for 2 hours. TOTALLY UNNECESSARY.
I understand what you are saying, no prob. This is the mockdock right? Can I not mock the mockarena?
You can, provided that you incorporate all of the necessary smileys and emoticons so that your intent is clear. And then you’ll also need to sign a letter of agreement and provide a blood sample, at which time you’ll be approved for mockarena mockery.
Our attorneys will be in touch. I bid you good day.
There’s a reason you are asked the same questions over and over and over. It’s to verify who you are and why you’re there. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories where some dood went in for a colonoscopy and ended up having a hysterectomy, or they amputated the wrong leg or something. This is so everyone involved is on the same page and lawsuit-proof.
Granted, it would easier to get everyone in the same room all at once and do it one time. And you’re right that they should have all that paperwork in their files.
Although I’ve never heard of a “Patient Liaison,” I think it’s a great idea. You have your own personal baby-sitter who walks you through the entire process and is with you the entire time. (Doesn’t sound like your liaison does this though.)
“Patient Liason” sounds like hospital-speak for “Nurse Practitioner’s Bouncer”
In the military, it’s reeeee-dick-you-luss. First you have to call to try and get an appointment for whatever is ailing you. They will inevitably be all booked up and the first available appointment won’t be until you’re all healed.
If you’re lucky enough to get an appointment, the appointment lady on the phone will ask you what you need to be seen for. I got into a heated discussion with my appointment lady that ended ugly. THEN when you get to the appointment someone will check your vitals and ask what you need to be seen for. THEN the doctor will come in with their freezing hands and icy stethoscope and ask why you’re there. THREE times minimum you have to tell them why you want to be seen. It’s not so bad if it’s a routine check up or a prescription refill, but if it’s something embarrassing you have to repeat it OUTLOUD three times. And why? It’s on the printout the doctor gets.
The hospitals here in Mohave County, AZ cut down on some of the repeat questioning by immediately giving you (and the patient if it’s not you) a wristband that identifies WHO you are. We sign maybe 2-3 things after we tell them our name and they find it in the system (we’re there about 5 times a year with a Type 1 diabetic child) and then wait to get called in. I can’t say the wait is any faster, but the paperwork and questions are cut down significantly.
Worst part is receiving the bill in the mail for all that irritating inconvenience, even with insurance it’s horrible!
Am still recovering from a hysterectomy–for which I had to sign THREE nearly identical documents indicating that I was aware that I would be sterile after the procedure–one for my OB/GYN, one for the hospital, and one for… Crap, give me more Percocet. Anyway, after having to take a SECOND pregnancy test on the morning of my surgery (while I was on my “special time” and obviously not pregnant), I asked what the hell was up. Turns out many women have had hysterectomies only to become idiots as a result, then sue their physicians and the hospital because they couldn’t conceive after the procedure. Hello?
Mockarena, it’s because of these idiots and their attorneys that we must sign and repeat (sort of like shampoo–lather, rinse, repeat) our answers just to cover liability insurance demands.
I work in the ER and have been cussed/screamed at over and over again about having people fill out paperwork. It’s not my fault, it is my JOB. I understand the frustration and would NOT have them fill out one million kajillion forms over and over again no matter how many times they visit if I didn’t have to. However, it IS my job, so I wish these people would give me a break. My boss will have my @ss in a sling if I do not get those signatures. GEEZ.
OK, I feel better now that I have vented.
I feel for you. I’ve had to deal with the same B.S. too many times. I unfortunately have let my temper get loose and explained to them what incompetent a holes they are. For some reason hospitals have a rule against common sense. (And for you nurses, techs, and so on, I’m not blaming you. However if you are an administrator or board member, I am blaming you.)
What we need (we don’t have them in the city where I live, but maybe you do?) is 24/7 minor emergency clinics. Sure it may be costly to keep them open, but it can’t be worse than keeping the ER open for all the non-emergency traumas.
One Friday night around 7pm my daughter was running a fever and my brother in law who is a dr. on the other side of the state thought it could be pneumonia so he recommended I take her to a quick-care clinic. Well, none were open (do they think people only get sick from 9-5?) so we had no choice but to go to the ER.
A minor emergency clinic, had one been open, would have been a lot faster AND less expensive.
I work at a walk-in doctor’s office, and we do minor emergency stuff like x-rays, sutures, etc., and we are open from 8am to 9pm. It is privately owned, so therefore it costs the city nothing to run it. It’s in a crappy part of town, and let me tell you, it’s never boring! The circus is always in town!
Having had 7 surgeries in a year, including a hysterectomy, as well as MRIs, ultrasounds, blah blah every test imaginable, I can say that our local hospital (which is very small) has this down to a science. I sign one piece of paper, get a wristband, and voila I’m ready to go…albeit I have to always confirm vocally that I am the patient in question with my date of birth and I have to be vaguely aware of why I am there that day. They give me as much percocet or morphine as I need or could possibly ever want. The nursing staff is excellent. And I have State Health insurance and it works great.
So, the next time you need help mock, come to my small town…Pen Bay Medical Center in Rockport, Maine. And mention my name, I think I get frequent flier miles by now.
So, ER. You recommend that poor people just keep going to ER? Its not FREE FYI, you get the bill, thousands of dollars. If you don’t pay it, they can sue you. Take it from someone who does not have insurance. Oh, and despite what you believe, there are hospitals that can and have turned away human beings that need medical care. It may be frustrating to fill out your forms, but realize how lucky you are to have you and your family insured. I love how the concept of every human being able to have equal access to health care is such a horrible concept to some. If only we cared about human life nearly as much once we were out of the woman’s uterus…
Way to go Sarah! Universal Health Care just like Canada is what we need more than bombs and subsidizing big oil. I live, thankfully, in a state that has Health care for everyone.
All the MRI’s that I have gotten, have all been much much faster than that to go through all of the processing.
I remember one of the times, just showing up for my appoinment, handing over my ID card (Army), being told to change into the proper hospital atire (the open back paper nightgown), waiting about 10 minutes, and then getting into the machine.
I do however remember being in the ER for about 7hrs when I had to go to a civilian hospital for a possible concussion after hitting the back of my head (3 times in the same spot) after falling, while snowboarding.
See, if the Government gets into health care the same money will come out of your paycheck that you’re paying right now, only all the time instead of when you actually go to the hospital.
And the government’s just going to keep this money and use it to pay for the health care of high-school dropouts who don’t have jobs and don’t pay their taxes that pay for health care, while people like you and I with a decent standard of living and don’t get sick often will be paying through the nose for these people.
Hey Sbarros, out of curiosity what state do you live in? I am just wondering what you think of the health care system? I got into a debate with someone who said there is a state in the US that has Universal Healthcare and its ****ty, which I did not believe but didn’t have the facts to back it up! Oh and Zachary, I would be willing to pay more in taxes if I knew everyone had the equal opportunity to receive health care, whether you think they “deserve” it or not. They are human beings you know, and many of them have innocent children that are affected by their lack of health care. Try stepping outside of yourself for once and caring about others when you talk about who you are going to vote for.
We need health care like CANADA?!? Are you high? I would prefer not to have to wait for 8 months for an MRI, thank you very much. You may have a state plan in Maine, but I guarantee you it’s nothing like Canadian healthcare. There’s a reason canadians come here for major services.
Cost is one thing, but I am NOT willing to sacrifice quality for socialized medicine.
Where have you heard about these waiting lists? From an actual Canadian, or an American politician? I’m pretty sure when I did have insurance, in AMERICA, they found that I may have cancer, and had to do a biopsy to take away that possible cancer, I had to wait 3 months for my doctor. After they told me I could have cancer. Three months. And you say there is no waiting here?
http://www.ncpa.org/sub/dpd/index.php?Article_ID=16956
Maine residents are pissed. I don’t blame them.
I’ve heard about the waiting lists from several Canadians who have since become US citizens, but who still have family members coming over to the states for medical care because of the huge difference in quality.
I have never heard of a biopsy taking 3 months to schedule here. Sounds like more of an issue with your specific doctor than it does the entire healthcare system here.
So since you never heard about it, it can’t possibly be a problem elsewhere? The reality is is that there must be a better way to deal with human lives. I am not saying that I know the answer, but to be in the richest country in the world, and not have access to healthcare is asinine to me. Its scary to know that if I get sick I am going to be financially screwed. I am a college student working two jobs, and volunteering 16 hours a week, and if I have to go to the hospital I have no means to pay that. I haven’t read that whole article yet, but it is ridiculous to me that they would have been promised that taxes wouldn’t be raised. That is the whole idea behind it, we all pay more in taxes for all to be covered.
But you know who DOESN’T pay more in taxes? The people we’re already paying taxes to SUPPORT. The welfare recipients who keep having kid after kid, the illegal immigrants…they’re not going to pay a dime, but because I work and am a legal citizen, I’m going to be expected to pay for their healthcare? That’s bull****.
I am not saying our current system is perfect, but again, the main advantage we have is quality, and there is NO WAY that we can let that suffer, regardless of who takes office.
Ok, I work with poor families every single day, and in case you weren’t aware being on welfare isn’t a walk in the park. Also, there is a five year limit. Also to even get assistance a family of 3 has to be making under 18,000 in my State. Two adults and a child have to making under that to even get food stamps. Can you even wrap your mind around what that means? Oh and for the record I WORK. I go to school full time, I WORK two jobs, I also volunteer 16 hours, yet since I am not full time at one of my jobs, I am not allowed insurance that I can afford. Don’t get all high and mighty because you say you work. I know you don’t realize this but many poor people work their asses off and still do not get insurance. I see it and talk with them every day. You actually have no idea. Oh and the main advantage is quality? Yes, for those who can afford it or have a job that offers it. Which millions and millions of Americans DONT have, and newsflash: they aren’t all immigrants and on welfare. Apparently minorities are just the bane of your existence by what you have to say. That is evidence in many of your rants I have read. Maybe you don’t even realize that, but its the truth.
Please. If you want to make this about race, take it somewhere else. You are crossing a line making that kind of accusation. You should know, since you are obviously an expert in this, that non-citizes of the US, according to census data, account for FORTY THREE PERCENT of the country’s uninsured residents. ALMOST HALF.
Do I feel bad for people who work hard and still can’t get insurance? Sure I do. And like I said, the system isn’t perfect.
But there are contributing factors to why costs are escalating, and those factors include illegal immigration and malpractice suits (thanks John Edwards), among other things. We have to fix the contributing roots of the problem to really get at the problem itself. There’s work to be done, but the answer isn’t the automatic knee-jerk “Let’s just tax everyone” response.
Mockarena, I am totally glad you share my beliefs about people on welfare and uninsured people. I am NOT paying extra taxes so that THEY can get health care and welfare. The ones that are earnestly trying to find a job, or that work hard and can’t scrape up the money I feel bad for. I don’t mind sharing with them.
But I know of plenty that don’t have jobs for the sole fact that they haven’t tried. They’ve dropped out of high school or college because of laziness or teen pregnancy (which is another story), had five kids, and freak because WE, with jobs, are not giving THEM enough.
From what I’ve seen, actually, the people that work hard often have too much pride to beg for welfare unless they absolutely have to. The ones that are lazy are the ones on it all the time. That’s just not right.
Also, as I apparently enjoy double commenting today, I believe that universal health care is roughly equal to a massive drop in quality. If the doctors make a salary from the feds instead of getting paid for actual work, they don’t work as hard.
It’s why communism never worked–if I’m getting paid the same whether I sit around and half-a%# everything or take initiative and consequentially good care of patients, I’m going to sit around and half-a%# everything.
Zachary, are you aware of the limit on welfare? Its nowhere near a lifetime of coverage. It was called the Welfare Reform Act, Clinton passed it. Not to mention, there is no way for you to actually know what people on welfare are actually trying to get jobs and make it, or what ones are just being “lazy”. You can speculate all you want, but regardless there is no stats that support saying most on Welfare are abusing it, or most are not. That being said, in my opinion, I work with poor people. I see both. I also see even the ones being lazy have children. I personally would feel ok paying a little more in taxes for something that would benefit all, including those children. I firmly believe that most people in America do work hard, or want to be able to provide for themselves. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to help the many that do work, and in turn be helping the few that are “lazy” or “irresponsible”. Take it from someone who grew up poverty stricken, having to get assistance from the government is a very painful, embarrassing thing for MOST people.
Thanks to Daisy for the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4u5x9XAsAs