The Mock Dock

Today, I traveled with Daisy to Fort Wayne, Indiana, to attend the wedding of her sister’s best friend.  I did this for two reasons – first, because Mr. Daisy did not want to attend, and second, because Mr. Mock was planning on ignoring me all day anyway to watch all sorts of college football.  So, I offered Daisy company for the road trip, and I got to have someone to talk to who wouldn’t throw dirty looks at me for interrupting important football plays.  Win-win.

Anyway, I don’t know if you have ever been to a Greek Orthodox wedding, but essentially there is a lot of monotone singing by the priest, and there’s a lot of stuff said in Greek, and there are strange rituals like kissing books and rings and crowns, and dancing around the altar. Also, the bride and groom are referred to in their Greek Orthodox names for the entire ceremony – in this case the bride was Galini.  The whole ceremony takes about an hour.  Daisy and I were mostly well-behaved, except when we assigned each other new Greek Orthodox names – Daisy being Blasphemini and me being Sacriligini, which made us giggle a LOT.  I waited for that entire hour for my chance to yell OPA! but it never came.  I’m assuming that was something reserved for the reception, but we did not stay to find out.

In any case, after the wedding, we began the long trek back home, but because we were hungry I convinced Daisy that we should take a 15 minute detour to Kokomo to go to Hacienda.  You may recall from this previous post how much I love Hacienda.  Anyway, we were on our way there, singing along to Justin Timberlake and Prince and Nelly and Britney Spears songs, when we both saw, simultaneously, a large bird flying down towards Daisy’s car, which was going about 60 mph at the time.  Watching this bird come at us  was like one of those slow motion, out of body experiences where you are literally frozen in time, unable to speak.  We can see this giant winged creature flying straight at us, and I remember thinking, “Birds don’t do this – any second now he’s going to ascend and fly off to safety” which was right before the bird came hurtling into her windshield.  Daisy actually took BOTH HANDS off the wheel momentarily, to cover her face, and I did the same thing (which was less dangerous seeing as how I wasn’t driving) and immediately after the thud, we EXPLODED into giggles.  This was the kind of giggling that was a combination of disbelief, horror, and hysteria.  Daisy was doing that craughing thing – where you’re kind of crying and laughing all at the same time – because she did feel kinda bad for the bird, but it was impossible not to laugh at the absurdity of the circumstances. 

So to avoid having the death of a bird ruin our road trip, here is what we decided.  The only bird big enough and stupid enough to fly directly into a car, we theorized,  was a chicken.  Somehow, this particular chicken had figured out how to fly AND commit suicide – all on the same day.  We were innocent bystanders in this, really.  I mean, it wasn’t like there was any way for us to avoid hitting a suicidal chicken.

This is the kind of stuff that happens when Daisy and I are together.  

P.S.  Hacienda is still completely kick-ass.