So I have been teasing Mock relentlessly about her political rants and her need to write non-lighthearted and funniless post which pour lighter fluid on the flame that is our differences. Well, it has come to this now. So inspired by her girl-crush Sarah Palin…Mock has decided to launch her own campaign. Look out DC. See here.
I swear to God – if this post causes people to argue in the comments…I will hunt you all down. Keep it fun or deal with my wrath.
Toodles!
Not a half bad idea…Mock, how will you fix the economy and initiate world peace?
I’m glad you asked, Chelsea, because I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Here is my plan:
1. Economy – You know that $750 billion bailout thingy? I would divert some of those funds immediately to go toward hunting down an extra terrestrial that would personally visit Robbie Williams and inspire him to create 12 more albums. With the leftover funds, I would pay every radio station across the country to play his songs 24/7, and his fame in the US would rise exponentially, and he would begin touring here, and then he’d have a special concert at the White House for me. How would this fix the economy, you ask? I’m letting my VP, Daisy, sort that out. She has mad skillz.
2. World Peace – This is an easy one. I would use some more of the leftover funds to host a WORLD ROBBIE WILLIAMS DAY – where his special White House concert would be aired across every television across the world for 5 straight days on a continuous loop. In it, will be a new inspiring song of peace which, when people hear him perform it, will result in all violence and hateful thoughts being immediately eliminated. It’ll be like a Kumbayha – Hands Across The Globe – Let Love Be Your Energy kind of moment. And henceforth there shall be peace.
That is my platform, and I’m sticking to it.
Mock, if you hire people to go door-to-door sharing the wonderfulness of Robbie, you’d resolve the employment crisis, too. Just a thought.
Excellent idea, wordwych. You shall be in my cabinet.
Robbie’s worldwide concert will help global warming as well. You’re just going to have to trust me on that one.
If we all hold our cell phones up and keep pressing “End” we should be able to generate enough light for the show, thus keeping the show ‘carbon neutral’.
damn, that old woman has my tattoo.
Mock, I would like to get some of your campaign bumper stickers.
I’m officially VP; therefore, I shall wear my hair up, talk like I’m straight out of Fargo, have a rifle on hand at all times to shoot wild game and kick Mock’s ass should she not comply with my strategical plans on a daily basis. Oh, and I will be totally smokin’ hot. Even the Dems (although they’ll never admit it) will want to have sex with me.
Not to worry, Daisy. I am DOWN with all of your strategery.
You maverick!
If I could vote, I would totally write in “Mockarena”. I’m not sure if the nickname counts. Screw laws!
Exellent. Now that you’ve solved all of our problems with world strife and the economy, would you mind sharing your views on education?
Certainly.
I personally believe that our education, like such as South Africa and the Iraq and everywhere such as, and I believe that our education over here in the US should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so that we will be able to help build up our future.
I shall get busy collecting and donating maps for your cause, so that children everywhere will be able to find The Iraq and South Africa on a map, such as it were.
With that clearly elucidated plan (plus bonus points for plagiarism) I’m completely on board.
Have your first map for you:
http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/791/theamericanworld9lt.jpg
Would you perhaps like a bake sale fundraiser? And by bake sale I mean siphoning funds from the Girl Scout cookies I must sell for my 3rd grader.
Excellent map, rosie too.
I would also like my constituents to know that if elected, I promise to use every executive power I have to prevent Jessica Simpson from ever butchering Robbie Williams’ Angels ever again.
I’m Mockarena, and I approve this message.
All I ask is for a Cabinet post. Secretary of Cute-as-Hell, maybe?
One question, Madame President: how would the Robbie Williams concert help with global warming? He’s too damn hot.
I will indeed consider you for my cabinet, angry_broad.
As for the concert details, I’m afraid that’s classified. But I want to assure the American people, Robbie Williams can do everything I’ve promised. He’s a change you can believe in.
Well Mock, You’re going to need a new ambassador to Tahiti. I have mastered the art of diplomacy to the point of being able to tell someone to go to hell in such a manner they look forward to the trip. And although I would have to stay in the tropical paradise most of the time and suffer immensely for the huge salary I would be collecting while worried about all the poor people in other countries doing without, I would sacrifice and serve.
Our stance on education? Yes, we believe in it.
Bob – I DO need a Tahitian ambassador. You will need to set up an embassy over there, which includes Presidential Quarters for when I arrive for my bi-monthly visits. Camp David really isn’t my style.