Ok, so have you ever had one of those days that is spent with your company’s IT department trying to figure out what kinds of demons are secretly plotting the death of your hard drive? And then just when you think that things are back to normal and you can get back to work, you realize that a year and a half’s worth of information is as completely gone as Ashley Judd’s hope of ever being famous again? Yeahhhh…welcome to Mockarena’s day today. Here is the exchange we just had:
Me: Sorry about your day. Here is a card:
Her: Ha! Give me a day or so. I’m sure I’ll get over it. Meantime, will you mock for me? I feel utterly mockless today.
So, I have to do my co-blogger/co-worker/co-close friend’s duty and present the celebrity hoochies and douchebags of the day. Wait. I just said “do a duty” and “douchebags” in the same sentence.
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahah
Ahem…sorry about that. So, without further hesitation, here is my attempt to present to you the celebrity mockery of the day.
#1: Hannah Montana is the most. annoying. girl. EVER. -
You know who her voice reminds me of?
Harvey Fierstein…and not in a good way.
#2: Apparently Hugh Jackman is the Sexiest Man Alive now.
Which is confusing to me, because doesn’t “Alive” mean that last year’s winner is now dead and we have to proclaim a new winner? People Magazine, you sicken me. You and your meaningless proclamations of sexiness.
#3: Apparently since Jessica Simpson isn’t the sister getting attention right now, she is resorting to facial adjustments and gallons of lip gloss.
And finally (for now…because this is exhausting)…
#4: Britney, who I guess isn’t crazy anymore, would like to prove to you that she isn’t crazy by rehashing all of her recent bad decisions. In her new documentary (which by the way, I keep wishing is a mockumentary put on by Christopher Guest and gang) “Britney: For the Record” she hypothesizes that: “”I think I married for the wrong reasons. Instead of following my heart and doing what made me really happy, I just did it for the sake of the idea of everything.”
Did that make sense to any of you? Just checking.
Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. Here’s hopin’ that Mock is back to her chipper self tomorrow because these celebrities are insane.
Nice job Dame! By the way, I appreciate the introduction to someecards.com. I officially haven’t done any work for the past 45 minutes for reading every card on the site.
Wow… Hannah Montanta = Giggles McAnnoyingsmokervoicestein
Agreed. Hannah Montana is seriously annoying. But you know what’s awesome? My 8 year old daughter doesn’t like her either. Yay.
Does anyone else think that Jessica Simpson is morphing into a blow-up doll?
I don’t think Britney Spears is the first person to get married because of some romantic notion of how wonderful it would be to just be married. Hence the divorce rate in America.
Miley = uberly annoying..
Along the same line of thinking with the last year’s winner being now deceased. Having a contest of sexiest man alive in general almost makes me wonder if they have a sexiest dead man cover. Just who looks the best while decaying away..
Jessica Simpson has never been attractive and her current face and expression isn’t helping..
As for Britney… what does one really say…
I keep praying that the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus thing is just a bad dream, but it’s not. I am starting to see grown women carry/wear her line of clothing/purses (uh, hello?).
If you believe in the vampire mythos, then the sexiest man alive isn’t nonsensical… but most of us live in the world where Halloween is one day out of the year.
I refuse to comment on the last two items up for discussion. Enough Already!
I love love love someecards.com especially the work related category. my fav.
As for miley. I just don’t know. At least she isn’t a little slut. Sorry for the harshness. Even though I don’t agree with the amount of make-up and primping she does which inevitably affects the girls growing up today, she isn’t flaunting her boyfriend like arm candy. She’s still a little bashful about it and you can still see the child in her. All I care about is how fast kids are growing up today because they are following by example.
I was just to go even higher on my soapbox. But I am stopping now.
Everything else: agree’d. Jessica Simpson is sooo not attractive, and starting to look pathetic.
Good post, Dame!