I think I have cooties. I have that thing in my throat where it kind of hurts when I swallow, and my eyes are all itchy and I’m absolutely certain I caught these cooties from Bunny, who I talked to on the phone earlier this afternoon. She caught cooties last night, and I think some of her cootie molecules traveled through her phone into my phone and then into my mouth, and they’re now making themselves at home in various parts of my sinuses and throat and chestular area.
You should feel way sorrier for me than you do for her, because she just returned from a 7 day trip to Jamaica. There is no sympathy for someone who has spent the last 7 days in 85 degree sunny weather. I think her body is PISSED at her, frankly, for leaving paradise only to return to the midwest, and that’s why it decided to pick up some cooties on the way home. You can’t really blame it.
And you know what else? Today is the day I was all set to decorate for Christmas. I still did the whole tree thing, but I wasn’t feeling festive about it. I was feeling cootiefied. I didn’t even put on my Carpenters’ Christmas CD. THAT is how sick I’m getting.
And what the hell is going on with Christmas this year anyway? How is it practically here already? It has literally come out of NOWHERE, and I am not at all prepared for it. I need like 6 more weeks. Mr. Mock’s parents are coming for the holiday, which means I have to make and serve Christmas dinner. Anyone who knows me understands how ridiculous the very IDEA of me doing either one of those things is. But I have to do it, cooties or not. Even if it means we have a delicious Christmas pizza.
On the cootie front — try Airborne. I started using it long before Oprah did (boy was I mad when I found out that the supplies were out EVERYWHERE because of her dumb show), and it has always worked for me. I have a couple of co-workers who tell me it’s the placebo effect; to which I reply, “I don’t care if it is the placebo effect, as long as I don’t get sick!”
On the Christmas front … technically, Christmas season begins on Christmas Day, so you’re not only not behind, but considering you’ve already started decorating, you’re early!
Seriously, I think that we all get too caught up with what the rest of the world thinks of as the Christmas season, and then by the time the TRUE season starts, too many of us are too sick of it and exhausted to enjoy it. Sit back, have some Airborne and then later, some tea, and remember that all the traditional holiday stories have people trimming the tree on Christmas Eve. Tell everyone you’re going really retro this year!
Hope you feel better!