I know you guys are probably like, “OK Mock – enough with the Britain’s Got Talent clips already” but I cannot help myself. I love this show. And now, in addition to already having one completely gorgeous female judge, they’ve added a second, and so it’s two gorgeous female judges and two snooty Englishmen, and it’s a winning combination.
This precious little girl comes out in her precious little tutu and starts dancing a precious little dance, but when she started I thought, “Wow – this is cute but it’s certainly not talent show-worthy.” And then they flash to Simon looking kind of annoyed and then all of a sudden, this precious girl opens her mouth.
And it’s magic.
The fact that I couldn’t love the soundtrack of My Fair Lady any more notwithstanding, I cannot get ENOUGH of Simon’s reactions to contestants who surprise him in some way. It’s like he’s this mean devil of a person most of the time, but when that completely involuntary smile flashes on his face, it’s like the Grinch’s heart is melting right in front of you. I LOVE it.
She’s not wearing a thong, you guys. So, you know, we have that.
An alert and astute mockdocker sent this to me several days ago and I had forgotten all about it until just this moment. I’m not sure exactly what made me think of it, but all of a sudden the image just BURST into my head. And I thought, this is the PERFECT photo to send my beloved mockdockers off to sleep with.
No word on whether or not the teeny tiny person in the photo survived this brutal attack.
Yup! She’s flawed you guys. Specifically, the tag on her bikini is sticking straight out. Horrors!
Holy crap. She’s got at least 3-4 years on me, and yet, this body would be the envy of many 20 year olds.
You guys, I have to PACK tonight. You know, for the big Chicago extravaganza which begins promptly at 9am tomorrow. I’m still very undecided about what I’ll wear to the concert, and that indecision is now heightened by my complete lack of self-esteem after seeing Cindy Crawford’s perfection in a bikini. Not that I was planning on wearing a bikini, mind you. But you know what I mean.
Anyway, I am so super excited. The plan is to drive up to Chi-town, get there around noon-ish, check in to our swank hotel, revel in the swankiness of it, do a little shopping, have a late lunch/early dinner, and then go back to the swankocity of our hotel to prepare ourselves for the Big Show.
If any of you are at or around the Big Show tomorrow night in Chicago, I promise you’ll notice us. I’ll just leave it at that.
Kim K posted this photo of herself on her twitter feed this weekend, with the caption, “I went blond! Do U like it?”
On what planet is this color considered blond? That color is decidedly brown. Carmel, if you’re being really specific. But it is in no way blond. Someone needs to explain to Kim that a lighter shade than your original color does not automatically equal blond.
You know who she looks like? Like a combination of Jennifer Lopez and Leona Lewis with a dash of Jennifer Love Hewitt. None of whom, incidentally, are blond.
I don’t know if we should be thankful that we don’t have a rearview of this photo, or if perhaps the rearview would have spared us from the frontal view. Because the frontal view is positively painful.
I don’t care if you’re built like a supermodel – this would not be sexy on ANYONE, let alone the woman who’s wearing it in this photo. Plus, it’s not like it’s built for comfort. Or nice tan lines, for that matter.
I need to know where people find this kind of confidence.
At least, according to the chick on Celebrity Apprentice. You guys, I don’t waste my time on this show, so I have no idea what’s going on in this clip other than the fact that Melissa and Joan Rivers are FLIPPING. THE FREAK. OUT in it. And I am fascinated by how Joan can be so mad, and yet her face isn’t physically capable of revealing anger anymore.
You have to sort of feel sorry for the guy. I mean, the hairline, the eyebrows, the nose, the pointy shoulders – has he come from some sort of island of misfit humans or what?
But you know what? He’s making it worse with the hair and the posture and the necklace and the t-shirt which is 18 sizes too big. These are CORRECTABLE issues, for crying out loud.
Wow. This is a truly pathetic attempt on the part of Denise Richards to try for relevancy.
I can never decide if I think she’s pretty or not. I mean, by most standards, she probably IS, right? Except that all of her facial features seem exaggerated in some way, as if she’s a walking caricature of herself. It’s like – I see her face, and I want to apply airbrushing to it to soften it up somehow. Do you know what I mean?
You remember the pearls, right? They look like something you’d get as a free prize for sending in 100 proofs of purchase barcodes from barbie doll boxes. I am not a fan, but admittedly perhaps I would be if they were around the neck of anyone else in the world besides Ashley Judd. Then again, no – I really do just think they’re ugly.
Thanks for bearing with me while I worked through that internal conflict.
Anyway, you might have heard that Salma Hayek and her billionaire got married (again) in an actual wedding this weekend. They’d already made things official back in February, but Salma wanted the kind of wedding that only a billionaire could give her, so she flew all of her best pals in to Venice for the big production. Ashley was one of those guests, and she wore the big giant pearls.
And I know some of you may be thinking, “You know what, Mock? They really aren’t that bad. I mean, yeah – they’re big and all, but maybe you’re being too hard on Ashley’s fashion choices.”
And to that I say, LOOK what she wore to the rehearsal dinner.
I rest my case.
P.S. You know what? One of the search tags I’m going to add to this post will be “giant pearl necklace.” Because it’d be kind of hilarious for the pervs to show up here and be all disappointed that it’s about an actual pearl necklace. Sorry, pervs!
Men in thongs. I’m sorry if you’re offended by that, male-thongwearing-readers, but that’s just icky. And we’ve discussed my hatred for this hip-hop fad of wearing pants so low that the belt is actually around the thighular area versus the waistular area, but typically I’ve seen that look coupled with a pair of tighty whities or boxers. NEVER have I seen it with a thong. And frankly, I could have easily lived the rest of my life without seeing that.
Again. Men in thongs? Not ok. Please make a note of it.
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