So, I’m going to brag on myself for a minute, you guys. And you know I’m the first to point out my flaws, of which there are many, but you know what I have that’s always been pretty great? Nice nails. I have the kind of nails that grow like weeds and they’re super fat. I actually have to trim them because they get all dragonlady really quickly, and when I trim them, they’re so fat and tough that they fly across the room. I’ve been genetically blessed with fabulous nails. And I appreciate the crap out of them, even though the apparent tradeoff was terrible thin, fine hair, a Buddha belly and a seven-head.
ANYWAY, I’ve always appreciated my nails. When Daisy and I were in West Baden and we got manicures, my nails were freaking GORGEOUS. I never wear nail polish, but with a manicure you kind of make an exception, so for about a week, while the so-pale-you-could-barely-notice-it-pink-nail-polish lasted, I seriously had hand model hands. They were fabulous. I removed the polish once it started looking chippy, and was left with my regular plain old nails, and I was happy.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday, because I am a complete freak about fluffing my overstuffed chair cushion every day, my nails are no longer fabulous. I went to fluff the cushion, and I don’t know how exactly I did it, but the middle fingernail on my right hand caught on something, bent backwards for a moment, and then snapped back into position. This is one of the disadvantages of having really fat nails. With flimsier nails, it might have just leaned back a little bit, and then leaned forward and straightened itself out. But with fat nails, when they bend back, it’s utter agony for that split second, and then a nice constant throb for minutes afterwords, with some blood pooling to boot.
Upon close examination of the nail, it was clear that it was torn on one side, and all jagged, and so it had to come off. And now, I have this perfectly nice looking left hand:
Aaaaaaaand a horrific looking right one:
HATE.
You’re all probably like, “Really? I just wasted 60 seconds of my life that I will never get back reading about Mock’s freaking BROKEN NAIL?” Yes, mockdockers. Yes, you did. But what more appropriate place is there to share my misery, except here at the Mock Dock? I need sympathy. Or at least a reminder about how fabulous my new shoes are.
P.S. Don't forget! County/State Fair photo contest going on RIGHT NOW! See here for details: FAIR CONTEST!
Well Mock, You bought shoes that hurt your feet so you showed us a picture of your feet. You did something to hurt your hand and showed us a picture of your hands. Not wishing you any bad luck but I can’t wait for you to fall on your ass.
Now you have to cut them all back….can’t have one broken and the rest long, looks bad. I hate that for you. My nails are the same way, super strong, but not as pretty as yours…you do have hand model hands…very nice.
LOL, BB!
Don’t cut them all. Just let it grow. It’s no big deal. Usually my right hand breaks one by one until I have an awesome left hand and nothing but the thumb left on my right hand.
These days I have to keep mine trimmed back a lot further than yours because I’m working on training a wild dog & doing a lot of yard work. Just too scared of the breakage to let them grow long.
People just don’t understand how frustrating it is to break a nail. If you have real nails like you do it HURTS and you have to wait like a month for it to look right again. If you have fake nails it HUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTS and you have to PAY to fix it. Broken nails are always a tiny tragedy!
You have such pretty hands!
I can relate to the fast-growing, strong nails… It hurts like a BITCH when you break them.
Although, I never let mine get very long… I’m too OCD. It drives me wild to have long nails.
Mock: Do you have a secret desire to become a hand and foot model ??
you DO have beautiful hands. my nails are like that when they grow too, but i cant stop biting the f*cker$.
i feel your pain about one breaking and thinking you look like a crack wh@re. but.. honestly.. your a LONG ways away from that.
You just wanted to show off the bling, girl.,,,,,beautiful diamond set!
My nails are the same way – everytime I go get a manicure they always say, “you nice nails!” and always I have them cut short… my boyfriend hates long nails, no appreciation. And I broke one this weekend – ripped right off. It still hurts.
you are right handed aren’t you?
Cool fingernails..and toe nails I might add, don’t like dogged toe nails
FABU nails.
Okay-I know I’m crazy, but I hate fingernails. I guess it is because the longer they are, the dirtier they seem to be. I also hate how they sound when someone is tapping them on something. Not even chalkboard, just tapping. Ugh.
Oh no, Mock! Sorry you broke a nail. I have nails exactly like yours. They grow long very quickly and are very strong. My hubby hates that I keep them short, and my friends can’t understand how I got blessed with naturally nice nails, yet I keep them cut off. I guess I’m just weird.
Congrats on your nice nails, and sympathy for the broken one. I, too, have – and appreciate! – the nice nails I’ve inherited from my Mom.
When she had to go into an assisted living facility, she’d ask the beauty parlor ladies to paint her long, strong, beautiful nails bright red or pink. When I’m a little old lady, I plan to be flaunting those nails, too, you betcha.