The Mock Dock

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this photo earlier today, and OMG WHAT THE HELL is going on with Madonna’s arms?  I mean, I know I’ve posted pics of her arms in all their nastiness before, but NEVER have I seen them look like this.  On the muscletone continuum, there’s toned, and then there’s sinewy, and then there’s alien-monster arms, and then there’s Madonna.   This is just wack.  It’s as if her arm muscles are bearing the weight of the entire solar system or something.

Ick.

Have I mentioned to you guys that I do not want Mini-Mock to ever be any older than he is at this moment?  There is no more perfect age than 3 and a half.

His latest trick is to say, “What the heck is going on with you?” to everyone he comes across.  I don’t know why, but this makes me giggle SO MUCH, which makes him giggle so much, which makes him say it like 472 more times.  LOVE.

The other day, I had him call his Aunt Bunny and his Uncle Bunny to ask them what the heck was going on with them.  And Uncle Bunny said, “Where’s your daddy?” (knowing Mr. Mock was away on business) and Mini Mock told Uncle Bunny where Mr. Mock was, and Uncle Bunny said, “Oh yeah?  Where’s that?” and Mini Mock said, knowingly, “It’s far far away to the right.”  Which, I guess if you’re looking at a map, you could make a case for, depending on the angle.

This weekend, both the boys spent the night at Grandma Mock’s, and when I was leaving them there Saturday night, Mini Mock had a little meltdown about me leaving.  Normally, he couldn’t care less if I leave, but this time, for whatever reason he did, and there were real tears and everything.  And so I had Grandpa Mock distract him by telling him there was something to look at in the kitchen so I could make a sneaky exit.  The next morning, when I went to go fetch the boys, Mini Mock saw me and just kept playing.  So I said, “Yesterday you were all upset that I was leaving and now you won’t even say hi?”

And do you know what he said to me?  He came up, threw his arms around my neck, and said, “Mommy – yesterday I cried and cried for you.  And you LEFT.”

Insert dagger into heart.

Jon Gosselin.  I mean, the guy’s just a dillweed.  In a recent interview with People magazine, Jon said, “At this point…I’m single -per se.”

He’s single PER SE, you guys.  Which is coincidental, seeing as how I think he’s a douchebag PER SE.

His new best friend?  Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay, and wearer of hideous clothing.  Now THAT’s a role model for fathers everywhere, isn’t it?

A past American Idol contestant has died as a result of a car crash – and two completely hilarious dudes made a tribute song for her, using the her parting words from the show.

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Seriously – if you guys haven’t seen The Hangover yet, SEE IT. Zach Galifianakis is hilarious in the movie, and with Conan. LOVE.

I’d just like to remind you all that the people featured in this video get to vote for our elected representatives.

Wow.

You guys – these are legit. Like, you can Actually Buy Them.

I so wish I could add them to the Mock Dock store and customize them. LOVE.

Enjoy.

You know what? I couldn’t care less if the mayor of a town wants to have boobs and be all transgendery. But the issue here is about a dress code violation, plain and simple. So I don’t think that the old, “They’re just not appreciating my diversity” excuse flies here. A plain old regular born-and-bred female mayor wearing that outfit to a public function in which she’s representing the city as the mayor would be equally inappropriate.

That said, I gotta say, the dude knows how to walk in high heels better than I do.

…and thanks to the alert and astute mockdocker who sent this to me, there are two wall dogs watching all of you.

So, you know, just don’t do anything that might piss them off today.