The Mock Dock

Seriously – Swarovski jewels on your hoo-ha? REALLY?

This is just plain stupid. For one thing, it’s not even attractive looking. And secondly, it can’t be, you know, comfortable during relations of a sexual nature.

And third, it’s called VAGAZZLING. That’s just inappropriate.

I will NOT be product testing this. Mostly because it’s completely idiotic, but also because it would look really stupid with a c-section scar.

PS. I’m in DC with my dad and we’ve been doing all sorts of sightseeing and having so much fun. I will have pictures later, even though I’m still shocked at seeing the color of my own hair.

First though, it’s off to Ruth’s Chris for dinner. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

You guys, I had my hair guy, who does housecalls, come for my normal haircut this afternoon, and decided that since all of you were like, “If you want to go lighter you need to see a professional” and since I’ve had the same hair guy forever and since he USED to do my color, I thought, “I’m going to go ahead and let him do color today too.”  <– That was a huge run-on sentence.  I know.

Anyway, he foiled me up, and colored and cut it, and it is like 800 shades lighter, and I’m kind of freaking out.  I can’t show you a picture yet, because I’m still too shocked by it.  I need to get to the point where I can walk past a mirror without shrieking before I get out the camera.

Tomorrow, I’m heading to DC with my dad to do a little sightseeing before I have to be there for Actual Work.  I won’t be on line much tomorrow, since I’m fetching my dad at FIVE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING, and we’ll be out playing all day.  But I should be back tomorrow evening, and perhaps by then I’ll be used to my hair enough that I’ll be willing to be photographed.   Holy crap you guys – It is SO BLONDE.

If I at least had a tan or something, it would be ok.   But with winter pale skin, it just looks SHOCKINGLY BLONDE.

Yiiiikes.

And it’s not even just unfortunate that there’s a misspelling.  It’s also entirely untrue.  For example, I’m judging him while I write this.

…I would TOTALLY product test this, if only because it’d make for some great photo ops.

But I have a feeling, based on the fact that this package looks approximately 200 years old, that this product is no longer produced.

Boo.

Even if these are all brothers, which they TOTALLY COULD BE, this is just plain gross.  There is just entirely too much abdominularity handling going on here, and frankly, it’s inappropriate.

You know, I think these are the people responsible for my hard drive crash last night.  I don’t know HOW they did it, but I think they’re responsible.  Speaking of which, my laptop is fine now.  I didn’t have funky viruses or anything – my hard drive just decided that continuing to function normally was no longer a viable option, and it just gave up.  So now I have a new one, and all my old stuff back, and all is well in laptop world.

I still have the cold, though.  And I’m pretty sure the guys in the picture are responsible for that too.

I immediately zoned in on the shoes, and tried to decide whether or not I liked them.

I mean, I completely overlooked the fact that she’s got her naked assular area on a copier.  I noticed that AFTER THE SHOES.

That has to say something about me, but I’m not sure what.  Especially since I still haven’t made up my mind about the shoes.

Thoughts?

I’m catching some stupid cold, mockdockers, which is timely considering I leave for DC on Sunday.  Perhaps the same landbeast karma which has crashed my laptop is also infecting me with some stupid cold.  I’m sure it’ll kick in full blast riiiiight when I’m about to board the plane.  Yippee!

Heading to bed now.  Hoping to be back on my A-game tomorrow by evening time.  Amuse yourselves in the meantime, and try to send me healthy karma that cancels out the landbeast karma.

Remember how I said that I was going to be super busy for the next several weeks because of benefits stuff at my work? Yeah. I had all of this work planned to do tonight, for a communication email that I wanted to send out FIRST THING TOMORROW, and I got the blue screen of death when I got home. I can’t even open Windows in safe mode. I am SO TOTALLY SCREWED.

So right now, I’m on my home computer, without access to anything I need, including pictures I had saved up to mock for you this evening.

I am Very Grouchy about this.

This has got to be some sort of landbeast karma in action.

You know what would I think should happen? Congress should pass legislation which prevents Nadya Suleman from being allowed to exist in this country. Her kids can stay – perhaps they can move in with the Duggar family. But she’s gotta go.

I can’t imagine anything creating more bipartisanship than that kind of legislation.

That is not how you wear low-rise jeans.

When are they hiring?  Because it’s not clear.