The Mock Dock

WARNING: Some bad language and waaaay more of the yellow-shirt dude than anyone should ever want to see ever.

…but if my husband put this outfit on, I would probably never ever ever stop laughing.

By the way, I can not TELL you how happy I am that Ashley Judd’s KY Wildcats are out of the NCAA championship.  That has totally made my whole weekend.  And in case you weren’t aware, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels didn’t want them to win either. Just one of skatey eight kabillion reasons why I love him.

Looks like you overestimated your Cats, Ashley.  Sucks for you.

How much do you love that she’s all smug and self-important in this photo, and that dude next to her is all, “Beyotch – I don’t care WHO you are, quit blocking my view.”

LOVE.

You might recall that Mini-Mock is 4. Four is the official age of poop-obsession, I think. Mini-Mock loves to talk about poop, loves to talk about how stuff smells like poop, and in general (and like his dad) seems to believe that I am deeply interested in the size, consistency and color of his poop. What IS it about boys that makes them want to share this kind of stuff?

The video clip above is from yesterday’s preschool program, in which Mini-Mock sang You Are My Sunshine and totally made me giggle. Happily, it doesn’t involve poop in any way.

But today, I heard him yell for me from the bathroom, and when I went to see what he needed he said, “Mommy – look how much poop I made! And there is some still stuck to my butt!”

Why?

This picture so totally gives me the glees.  You guys are probably all, “This is like one of my worst nightmares” but I think, provided I was in a rental car I didn’t care about, this would be the BIGGEST BLAST EVER.

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver,a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD .

The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what’s wrong.

“I feel terrible,” he explains, “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM.”

The blonde says,”Don’t worry.”

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny ,bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.

The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.

He runs over to the woman and demands, “What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?”

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says..

“Hair Spray
Restores life to dead hair,
and adds permanent wave.”

Those socks TOTALLY don’t go with that outfit.

Aren’t these the same socks that the Wicked Witch of the West wore?

This is the email I got from Daisy earlier:

So, you know how I love to get cool new kid name updates from my sister, the Pediatric E.R. nurse.  She sees some doozies.

I thought I’d never be able to top Ta-a (pronounced Tadasha), but now I think it’s being knocked out of spot number one.

Some kid came in about a week ago with the middle name of SUPAFLY.  My sister asked the mother, “So, why didn’t you name him Superfly?”  To which she responded, “His Dad thought that Supafly was SOOO much cooler than Superfly.”

These people vote.  I’m just sayin.

Is that not the best thing you’ve read all day?

I can’t believe they wasted it on the MIDDLE name.  Supafly should be the FIRST name, without question.

See this chick?  She’s really really really stupid.

According to this, she was jailed at a police station this past weekend after getting into a spat with a cab driver.   She told him basically what direction to drive in, but wouldn’t give him a specific destination, and when he asked her for one, she FLIPPED THE FREAK OUT.  It was enough of a freak-out that he drove into the nearest gas station to get rid of her and then police came and took her to jail for being an uncontrollable spaz.

This is where the story gets awesome.  When they let her make her one phone call?  You know – to find someone to bail her out? SHE CALLED 911, to report that she was “trapped inside the detention facility.”

OMG HOW GREAT IS THAT?!?!  She called the police to report being apprehended by the police.  And got hit with another charge of making a false 911 call in the process.

You know who she should be best friends with?  This girl.