The Mock Dock

I forgot to tell you guys what happened when I picked up Mini-Mock from school yesterday.

When I got to his classroom, he saw me and as usual, jumped out of his itty bitty little chair where he was coloring and said, “Mommeeeee!!!!” and ran over to me.  I put his jacket on him, and he said, “I want to hug one of my friends goodbye.”  So I said, “Oh that’s sweet – ok which friend are you going to hug?”  And the closest classmate was Emma, who happens to be the most adorable girl in his class.  She’s the kind of 4 year old who is just impossibly pretty and always dressed in beautiful dresses and she has perfect hair and huge eyes and basically, I’m jealous of her.  A FOUR YEAR OLD.

Anyway, he went up to Emma, who wasn’t facing him at the time, and touched her shoulder to get her attention.  She turned, and he said, “Goodbye Emma!” and reached to hug her, and she not only didn’t accept his hug, she violently jerked AWAY from his hug, and ran.

Mini-Mock then ran to me, threw his arms around my neck, and started softly weeping.  Rejected by a girl.  At four years old.

It’s out of line to call Emma a bitch, isn’t it.   But I’m telling you, that’s the first thing I thought.  And then I calmly tried to explain to Mini-Mock that he was the sweetest boy ever and that it was mean of Emma to not accept his hug and that he shouldn’t NOT hug his friends just because she was mean, and that next time he should hug other friends who will hug him back.

I relayed this story to Daisy this morning, and she said, “You know what I would have said to Emma?  ‘Listen, hon, you may need to take what you can get now, because when you get into high school, you’re going to have a fat ass and a pizza face and there’s no way a boy as cute as Mini-Mock will want to hug you. Good luck in therapy, sweetie.’”

Daisy’s got Mini-Mock’s back.

Sandra Bullock is divorcing Jesse James and has adopted a baby boy, according to this.

She’s actually had this adorable little munchkin since January, and even hopes that Jesse will continue to be part of the baby’s life after the divorce.

The fact that she has a kind word to say about that loser at ALL just shows what a class act she is.  If there isn’t a part of you that roots for her, you have to be kinda soul-less.

I cannot TAKE how fabulous David and Victoria are. And look at my Victoria looking so proper and stylish and totally fabulous in the audience. She is SO UBER FABULOUS.

I cannot stand the women of The View, but Sheri Shepherd’s shoes are TO DIE FOR.

The only thing I would change about the Beckhams is I would lower David’s voice about an octave. He would be complete, total perfection with a lower voice. But even still, the whole story he tells about meeting Victoria, with her looking on from the audience all giddy and girly and bashful, makes me want to totally be ADOPTED by them, even though I’m like a decade older than they are.

I love them SO MUCH.

It’s not often that a photo captures the moment BEFORE total blindness occurs.

You guys, totally off topic, but do you want to hear the cutest thing ever?  Junior Mock has PROM this Friday night.  And it’s like a family prom, which means we all get to go and watch all the kids be dressed up.  Mini-Mock gets to go, and my mom is going to go, and Junior Mock’s caregiver is going to go, and there will be lots of food and a live band and a bunch of adorable kids in wheelchairs dressed up for prom.

Junior Mock’s bus driver is going too – and she’s making a corsage for Junior Mock to give to his long time girlfriend.  Junior Mock has been in the same class with his girlfriend since they were 3 years old.  Both of them are non-verbal and in wheelchairs, but they always figure out a way to hold hands.  Junior Mock’s caregiver has even caught them having little lovers’ quarrels, where his girlfriend will grab Junior Mock’s bib if she doesn’t think he’s paying enough attention to her.  They are SO CUTE.  I can’t wait to go and take loads of pictures.

None of that, of course, has anything to do with the chick in the above picture about to be blinded by a psychotic cat, but you guys are used to my random subject changes by now.

LOVE.

I swear, I am married to the coolest guy ever.

So last night, we were sitting around enjoying our Sunday, and Mini-Mock had just gone to bed after playing with legos (which were handed down to him from Mr. Mock), and Mr. Mock started tinkering around with them.

About a half hour later, I asked him what he was working on so intently. And you guys, he Actually Created a working transmission from legos. I found this positively mind-boggling, and totally hilarious all at the same time. And so I video taped him demonstrating his creation, and then I asked him why, if he was going go to all the trouble of making a transmission, he couldn’t have made it look more like a car. I asked this, you see, because I’m a girly girl who wouldn’t be able to identify a transmission from any other metal object.

You’ll hear how he reacted. But I should warn you, there is FOUL LANGUAGE. Which I also found totally hilarious.

Welcome to a typical day in the life of our marriage. It’s pretty much constant giggles for me, and total exasperation for him.

I saw an iPad up close and personal the other day, and as the owner of an iPhone, I have to say, I just don’t get it.  The picture above is perfect, because that’s exactly what I thought when I tinkered with the iPad – that it’s a huge version of an iPhone only without the handy dandy phone part and without the handy dandy camera part and without the ability to put it in your pocket or your purse.  I mean, yeah – it’s got some cool apps and stuff, and it’s got the whole kindle-like aspect for reading, but other than that, I don’t get it.

Who’s got one?  Tell me why it’s cool.

Nothing manlier than a dude with a lapdog and an axe.

Except a dude with a lapdog, axe and black socks.  Hhhhhhhot.

I know that the whole point of this photo is for us to be like, “What’s the deal with the huge corn?”  but the first thing I noticed was this chick’s remarkably toned calf muscles.

But I suppose the corn is of interest as well.

BEHOLD after the jump: Heidi Montag having dinner with her family, and justifying her 10 plastic surgeries in one day by saying it’s all because of where she lives.

HATE.

Continue reading ‘She Can’t Even Chew A Burger, You Guys’