The Mock Dock

You know how much I hate those big giant stupid pearls that Ashley Judd insists on wearing, right?  I think I’ve mentioned that several times before.   They’re back tonight, for the Indy 500 banquet, and you can see them in the below screen grab:

I think she’s scowling there because she’s not, in that moment, being fawned over by someone.  It was post-race photo op day earlier this morning, and naturally, it was All. About. Ashley.  Can you even tell, from this picture, who actually WON the race? Because she’s a thunder-stealer, that Ashley.

Dario is a swell guy, so I take nothing away from HIM for his win.  It’s his insufferable wife who makes me root against him.  That said, I LOATHE his hair.  You know who he looks like with that hair?

Talladega Nights, anyone?

We’ve all been there.  You’re leaving the house, and you need to take your cat along, and you’ve got no convenient way to carry it.

Well, finally there’s a solution.  Mockdock love to the person who thinks of the best name for this fabulous cat holster product.

Ashley Judd’s husband won the Indy 500 today.  And if that isn’t painful enough, I was THERE to see it.

I think it’s because I laughed at this.

Update:  This photo makes me feel better somehow:

Ashley Judd has just received her master’s in public administration from Harvard, which means that she’s going to be more insufferable than ever, and will, in all likelihood, run for office at some point.

I think she needs bigger sunglasses.

You have to be careful when kissing landbeasts if they haven’t had dinner yet.

I’m just sayin’.

Can someone please explain to me what the purpose of those strings on either side of her flabular area are?  Are they there to hoist up her sub-gut?  I’ve never seen underwear built like this.

I think the tiara is a nice touch, though.

…this total wackjob American Idol fanatic, whose life is apparently ruined because America voted wrong.

Warning: her language is NSFW, because she’s a lunatic.

I want to know what possible purpose these thigh highs are serving.

Sorry guys, from the looks of her hand, she’s taken.

I haven’t watched American Idol this entire season, you guys. That is HUGE, because you know what a superfan I was. But no one interested me, and without Paula’s drunken antics it just didn’t seem like as much of a draw.

Until last night’s season finale. She reappeared, and her entire appearance was SO FULL OF AWKWARD. Just watch.

PS – Bret Michaels showed up too, even though he’s all aneurisimified and diabeetus-ified and stroke-ified and whatnot.

Buckeye Bob sent me this photo in an email, and said he doubted I’d post it.  He obviously underestimated me.

I love the look on the chick’s face on our right.  She is so obviously unimpressed by leopard dude’s happiness to see her.