Seriously – is Heidi Montag the stupidest female in this country right now? Can we investigate this?
According to this, now that her plastic surgeon is dead (for real! he died last week!) Heidi has decided to talk about how much she regrets making herself look like an alien. AND, she even wants to downgrade from her G sized boobies to double D’s, because she’s “desperate to go back to normal.” Isn’t that cute how she thinks she used to be normal?
It’s been nine months since she had all of her crazy work done, but she’s still in all sorts of pain – the kind of pain even painkillers can’t fix. She is “unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing.” And worse still, she can’t work out with those giant bazongas. “It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”
It IS heartbreaking, isn’t it? I mean, isn’t your heart just BREAKING??
Heidi’s on the hunt for a South American surgeon now, because she feels “trapped in her own body” now that her original surgeon is all deceased and whatnot. “There’s just no fixing it,” she says. “Dr. Ryan knows the work he did, he knows everything.”
I feel bad laying this on you this evening, because I know how much sleep you’re going to lose worrying about Heidi Montag and trying to mend your breaking hearts.
Stay strong, mockdockers. Stay strong.
Geesh….big breasts may look great, but they are a big hassle…all she had to do was ask someone with big breasts what it is like to have them, but I guess that would involve a brain on her part. Back aches, ill fitting clothes, stares and leers…loads of fun.
Bwahahahahaha!!! Oh wait, was that not nice of me?? She’s is a sad sad little girl.
What about all those pictures of her, smiling by a pool at a Vegas hotel?
Oh, wait, you mean, it wasn’t sincere? She wasn’t sincerely happy?
Or maybe it’s NOW that’s not true, and she doesn’t really feel “trapped” in her body, but is just looking for more attention? Or she finally realized that even the Hollywood types were appalled?
Or maybe …. she realized that her “work” will be limited because of those breasts? I mean, she can’t really be a model, because they want women who look like boys. She can’t really be an actress, because she probably can’t act — and anyway, she can’t move her face. She can’t be anything but a porn star or model for girlie magazines.
Naw, she’s probably telling the truth, huh?
She’s an idiot! Has she finally figured out it didn’t get her the kind of attention she wanted for the long term?
Mock, I think I’ll be sleeping just fine tonight!!!!zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I’m more bummed about the picture of Stephen Moyer with Anna Paquin announcing their marriage! He’s my Hollywood crush at the moment!
Well, my life’s over.
WAAAAAH!
Yeah did you guys hear about how her surgeon died? He was driving on the serpentine roads of California, you know, the ones with just a little guardrail to prevent you from flying down off a cliff, and he decided to text while driving. And the worst part? He was texting about something his DOG just did. Of all the stupid ways to die… I’m just glad the dog survived.
The cover says she’s desperate to go back to normal. When was she ever normal?