So yeah, I haven’t been on Mock Dock for a few centuries. I used to count myself lucky if I got one or two posts on the main page before Mock did an all night post-a-thon. But, alas, life has happened for awhile. Thought my friends here on the Dock would like to know that now Dame is currently vomiting around the clock as she single-handly forms a Mini-Aufschneider inside her body. Thank you, yes, and now to the point. Before I look like this, I hope to blog the ups and downs of this roller coaster ride I am now on. My first observance:
People love to tell stories about their pregnancies. Or their wife’s pregnancy. Or their Aunt Theresa’s pregnancy. I have heard more about my co-worker’s and common acquaintance’s bodily functions than I EVER cared to know. And, I understand, they want to help. And they are happy for me. But for Christ’s sake, people, I’m on the brink of tossing my cookies at every pass. A twenty minute conversation about the joys of breastfeeding is not what I am in the mood for.
Anywhoo…I’m preggo and happy. I’ll be making fun of myself along the way. Stay tuned…
Ok, so have you ever had one of those days that is spent with your company’s IT department trying to figure out what kinds of demons are secretly plotting the death of your hard drive? And then just when you think that things are back to normal and you can get back to work, you realize that a year and a half’s worth of information is as completely gone as Ashley Judd’s hope of ever being famous again? Yeahhhh…welcome to Mockarena’s day today. Here is the exchange we just had:
Me: Sorry about your day. Here is a card:
Her: Ha! Give me a day or so. I’m sure I’ll get over it. Meantime, will you mock for me? I feel utterly mockless today.
So, I have to do my co-blogger/co-worker/co-close friend’s duty and present the celebrity hoochies and douchebags of the day. Wait. I just said “do a duty” and “douchebags” in the same sentence.
We haven’t heard much from Heigly McSmokeypants in quite awhile. Well, from this photo we can clearly see what she has been doing since her 15 minutes of fame ended. But hey, before you all write me nasty comments about leaving celebrities who eat like normal people alone, and how my above sentence is contributing to the national epidemic of body image esteem dysfunctions, blah blah blah….I know full well that she is a very thin and attractive woman. I still think it’s hilarious when she is photographed in a way that makes her look like a 14 year old drama club president who has caught her monthly mensies.
Now that that is settled, let me explain a bit what The Heigler was doing for her birthday. Apparently her husband (pictured below looking quite douchey) took her out for her 30th birthday and treated her to a “Old Hollywood Glam” type event. And then, in the classiest of ways, she wanted to make a public stop at the local Mcee D’s. Not only did she make sure the paps were there, she left the door of her car open for this impromptu, totally casual and normal photo opt. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Yesterday was not a very focused day for me, which means I spend a lot of time on the outskirts of the Internet. I was happily minding my own business when I happened upon a musical mastermind. I am his new biggest fan. Or at least his fan with the biggest noggin. Seriously…I tried to wear a hat the other day because it is getting colder here…and I was reminded of the mammothness of my braincase.
Courtesy of www.nataliedee.com
But I digress.
JAMIE LIDELL (make a mental note) is my newest favoritiest singer everist. Go to his website…flock to iTunes…advance to YouTube (and collect $200 from the banker)…do whatever it is you need to do to hear more of this new album “JIM”. I must admit, the guy is a bit freaky….in a good way. A little bizzare never hurt no one. Seriously folks, I am hooked. A Wise man said to me, ““He is awesome. He has the soul of Prince and the looks of an accountant. LOVE IT.”
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!! So, take a right and check it out:
I had heard rumors about this…and this might be totally old news…but dear God they are making “The Cleveland Show.” Here is the setup from Fox:
Many years ago, CLEVELAND BROWN (voiced by Mike Henry) was a high school student madly in love with a beautiful girl named DONNA. Much to his dismay, his love went unrequited, and Donna wound up marrying another man. Cleveland once told Donna he would always love her, and if this man ever done her wrong, he’d be there when she called. Well, this man done her wrong. Donna’s husband skipped town with another woman, leaving Donna with a daughter and a baby. Now she’s come to Cleveland and offered him another chance at love. Unattached after the Loretta-Quagmire debacle and true to his word, Cleveland joyously accepts and he and CLEVELAND JR. move to Stoolbend, VA, to join their new family. Once in Stoolbend, Cleveland has a few surprises in store for him, including a flirtatious new stepdaughter, a 5-year-old stepson who loves the ladies, as well as a collection of neighbors that includes a loudmouth redneck couple, a British family seemingly stuck in the Victorian era and a family of bears living at the end of the block. FAMILY GUY was only the beginning. Get ready for THE CLEVELAND SHOW (working title)!
So, I know it is going to be a stretch, but I have always said I will give anything Seth MacFarland does a chance. “American Dad” sucks, but still, come on…CLEVELAND?!? I am totally watching this.
So, yesterday was my birthday. And I told you a few days ago how much I wanted a kitty for my birthday. Wellllll, while the official title of Kitty Aufschneider has yet to be filled, I DID get tickets to the traveling Broadway production of Disney’s The Lion King for next week!!!!!!!!! I am so pumped because I have really been dying to see that. So, while no kitty (besides Simba) won my heart last night…Christmas is right around the corner.
So, it is almost my birthday and there is ONE thing I have been asking for allllllllllllllllllllllllll year. A kitty. If you will remember a post from awhile back, my cat of 17 years died last year, and it was really really hard on me. I freaking loved that cat. And she was one of those cats that hated everyone else but me, so that made me love her more. Because I am a one cat kindof girl, and she was a one girl kind of cat.
Anywhoo, I have been pestering my husband all year for a new little kitten for either my birthday or Christmas. And, I know that he 1. hates cats, 2. wants a dog, and 3. wants to wait for said pets until we move into a house next spring. I get it. I do. But, I am still holding on to hope that a kitty is right around the corner.
And, on this, our election day, I have finally found celebrity spokespersons that not only agree with MY agenda, but do a magnificent job persuading Americans to choose the RIGHT choice.
So my husband came home last night and asked “have you ever heard of Leroy Jenkins?” and I said, “well, no, no I haven’t.” He then said, “I thought you considered yourself a blogger?” Touche. Anywhoo, I’m sure every one of you have seen this, but for the people like me who have apparently been living in a hole for awhile, you gotta see this.
Let me set this up. This is a video of people playing “World of Warcraft” which is basically a way for IT guys and non-girlfriend-having teens to simulate battle scenes with made up characters. Imagine each of these guys sitting approxiately 3.33 feet (repeating of course) away from their computers alone in their studio apartments or their parent’s basements. It kills me how much thinking and talking goes into one battle. Until Leroy comes along. I love this so much I had to watch it over and over. I kept imagining those guys from “Big Bang Theory” (yes, I watch that show and like it) when I heard these guys talk. Enjoy!
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