Just a few moments ago, Mockarena, Holmes, and Dame ventured to lunch at ____________. Across the vast parking lot, littered with Mini-vans, mulch-filled flatbeds, and _____________, Holmes noticed the couple (as seen above) obviously saying, “_____________.” The kicker to the whole scene was not the emotion-fueled embrace, but the ____________ of times that these two people ______________ and then re-embraced, kissed, and _______________. After the 8th attempt to slide into the cockpit of each vehicle and depart, heading off to lives of ____________, our Romeo and Juliet would slowly creep toward the back of the ____________ to once again embrace.
At this point we left our table in the restaurant, loaded into Mock’s auto to get a better look. Having parked nearby to get a better view, we began to weave thier tale…Kevin, an inside salesman, met Janet through an online dating service. Both divorced, and fearful of committing again, have never felt as close as they do to this, their e-match. A lunch time rendezvous has to be sufficient, as Jackie - Janet’s son - has Lacrosse practice tonight, barring them from an evening together.
And so it is, that lingering in the tepid exhaust of the strip mall’s parking lot, is the only time that these cyber-crossed lovers could feel the warmth of each other’s embrace…..14 freaking times over 40 minutes. That’s right. You read that right…they said goodbye, separated, and re-mounted 14 times in 40 minutes! Seriously, you see why we had no choice but to snap their images for the Dock!
So you are now looking at what is left of my right index finger. Sadly, on Saturday, I decided it would be a good idea to HURRY while I was cutting some cardstock with this:
Luckily, it was a brand new one, minus the rust you see here. Unluckily, though, this NEW knife had a nice new SHAAAAAAAAAAAAARP blade on it, which cut through my skin like cheese. I won’t bore you with the details, but as you can imagine, I screamed and said various words that made me sound like I was speaking in tongues.
Fast forward to four hours and three med-checks later. (One did not take my new insurance and one had a three hour wait). I was STILL bleeding and still in quite a bit of pain. As the doctor is three inches from my finger with a salve of some kind to cauterize my blood, he says non-chalantly, “Umm…this might sting a bit.” In translation, he said “ohh, you thought it hurt when you cut off your own flesh with a knife, wait till you feel THIS!” I have never wanted to punch a doctor worse than in this moment.
So, there you have my weekend. Painkillers and husbands that do the dishes rock. Then I got to work this morning. Forgetting that I need two good hands to type at the normal speed that I do, I can’t tell you how freaking frustrated that I am. I seriously need either a drink, or the good stuff that jerk of a doctor gave me. You can’t tell, but it has taken me 45 minutes to type this post.
I’m such an idiot.
Meanwhile, I have heard enough “once I cut my hand” stories to last me a lifetime. Why do people do that? I’m convinced that people are so self-obsessed that the only way they can relate to a real person is to talk about themselves. I hate that. Except of course when Holmes told me to suck it up, well, because his hand has been ON FIRE before. That jerk. He is always tryng to one-up me.
So the FDA has finally cleared all of the US’s tomatoes of any wrong doing. MSNBC reports:
“We still do not know where the original contamination point was,” David Acheson, assistant commissioner for food protection at the FDA, said in a conference call. Among later illnesses, there seems to be more evidence against peppers. The FDA is sending inspectors to Mexico to investigate a packing house that receives peppers from a number of farms.”
So, the tomato was like the OJ Simpson of vegetables this summer. I can just picture veggies like broccoli and corn around the country glued to their TV sets wondering if Tomatoes really did it or not. Looks like now we all know that Peppers are the real culprit. Those jerks. Shoulda known.
So, I have to admit, I’m not a texter. I had tried to text maybe twice in my entire life. Mockarena and Holmes are King and Queen of the Texting Court, however, and they continue to persist that I join their bandwagon-O-text. I get why they like it…it covers the need for human contact yet involves no actual human contact. And I am not a fan of long phone conversations. Even as a pre-teen (the time in your life when you are supposed to sit on the phone and listen to another person breathe) I would never voluntarily call someone. Still to this day, I would rather meet with someone face to face, or email to email than have an hour long call. I save all of my calls for the highway. Yes, I am that girl on her cell phone traveling at a high rate of speed. But, I ask you, isn’t saving all of my calls for the road much MUCH better than this guy?
Rumors are circulating that Grey’s Anatomy producers want blood. The Great Heigler has pissed them off one too many times now. “It’s not good there,” a source tells me of the Grey’s Anatomy set. “Shonda is pissed. They’re thinking of killing her off. They want Izzie dead.”
Hee hee. Even if this wasn’t about the most annoying, jerk-like, beast of a person, I would laugh at a producer saying “I want her dead.” It makes it better that it’s about Katie. How great is it though that we here at the Mock Dock have started this revolution of despising this Smokler? I don’t know about you, but I’m going to put that on my resume.
Dollar says this guy has never made it past second base. Also, the chick after him…um…afraid of slightly slanted ramps, are we? I would like to think she made a wrong turn at the studio and meant to go to the Bachelor set. She thinks that a hot raquette-ball player is going to hand her a rose after she bounces off those big red balls. Hee hee…BALLS.
Wipeout was on again last night. This is seriously shaping up to be my favorite show of the summer. Sorry Hoff. Meet Andrew…the best Wipeout competitor so far.
Colin Firth is literally trying to get out of the photo with his wife, who apparently is a fan of Walmart specials. Where do you even get a dress like this? She has pac-men covering her nips and a smile bordering her belly. This dress reminds me of those big tee shirts we used to wear in the 90’s with black knit leggings underneath (accompanied by scrunchy socks and white Keds). Oh yeah, and you know I rocked the side pony tail. Totally.
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