The Mock Dock

…because if you watch this, you will have nightmares. Guaranteed. I would try to give you a summary of what you’re about to see before you watch it, but I have no words to describe it.

I think it’s a rule of life that at some point, if you’re a girl, you’re going to wear a hideous bridesmaid dress.  It’s just inevitable.

EVEN FOR BRITNEY SPEARS, who was a bridesmaid in her assistant’s wedding.

No one is safe.  If you have horrid bridesmaid dress experience, please share in the comments.  And attach pictures if you’ve got ‘em!

Because HELLO:

It’s Glee. Plus Britney.

GLITNEY.

I’ll catch you guys afterwords.

Hey – remember when Daisy, Leroy and I went to Chicago to see Britney Spears in concert? I was doing a little reminiscing this weekend, and came across this video gem. We wore pink wigs, if you recall, because we wanted to represent Britney during her crazy phase. And this video clip is of Daisy and me in the hotel room (Leroy is recording), just before we left to waltz through the lobby filled with important business people. We’re just being our normal silly selves in it, BUT there is a totally random surprise guest at the end of the clip. I don’t remember why that guest appeared, but Daisy’s reaction to seeing him is my favorite. As if she sees him all the time.

BEHOLD:

Good times.

What does this even MEAN?  I mean, this waaaay beyond just having crappy extensions.  I have stared at this for 5 straight minutes and have NO IDEA what’s going on with her scalp.

Thoughts?

I’m grateful that as a non-famous person, I can go outside and in public and not have to worry that some random photographer is going to take a picture of me looking like the haggiest hag in hagville.   I mean seriously, that kind of fame would suck.  And you have no idea how often I go to, say, the grocery store or the drug store looking totally hagariffic.  I’m not vain when it comes to being seen at my worst in public.  But if I thought photos of my hagified self would show up in national circulation?  I might behave differently.

In any case, I hope these photos aren’t an indication that Britney’s back on the path to crazytown.

Ohthankgod.

The Britney Spears clothing line is coming out. And her jeans are really really cool, you guys, because they’re faded.

You should totally buy her clothes, because she can draw hearts really well.

Marketing fail.

So, if you live in or around the Indianapolis area, you know that we’ve been enjoying a mighty fine spring so far.  The weather has been pretty much awesome for most of the month of April.  And so when possible, I have been taking neighborhood walks after work to get some fresh air and listen to tunes on my ipod.

One of my most favorite albums to walk to is Britney’s Circus album (insert any number of jokes here).  And there is one song in particular, called Lace and Leather, which has a really nice beat for the tail end of my walk.  But here’s the thing.  Everytime I hear it, I get annoyed by the 2nd verse, which starts like this:

Heels, six inch make a boy want to bite his lip
Look but don’t touch unless you want to lose your innocence

And I know this is going to sound totally irrational, but it bugs the crap out of me that she says “Heels six inch” instead of “Six inch heels.”  I mean, there’s no rhymular issue which would be created as a result of constructing the sentence in a logical manner.  There is, in fact, no reason whatsoever NOT to say, “Six inch heels” instead of “Heels, six inch.”

WHY DOES SHE SING IT THAT WAY?  WHY?

…still.  A FANTA?  Who drinks those?

I’m telling you, Britney’s sinking into crazy water again.  She forgot her bra again too.

But at least her feet are warm!

When Britney starts dressing like she pulled clothes out of a Salvation Army trashbin, you KNOW she’s headed to Crazy Town.  The only thing missing from this picture is a Frappucino.

How soon before she busts out the pink wig?