The Mock Dock

Inappropriate.

No one can wear a sparkly nude bodysuit except Britney.  And even SHE couldn’t pull it off the way she did a few years ago.

Kidding.  I don’t know that she’s actually boycotted bras, per se.  I just know that she likes to be without them a good deal of the time.  And frankly, her boobs are showing signs of rebellion.  They look sad, if you know what I mean.  Downcast and kinda mopey.

Britney Spears is apparently releasing a new single and this is about 18 seconds of it. I’ve done some preliminary analysis, and according to my calculations I have concluded the following:

1. The video director has specified that under no circumstances should Britney’s hair come in contact with the back of her own neck.
2. Britney is suffering from some sort of muscle ache in her upper arm which requires frequent massage.

I’d be delighted to hear your analysis as well.

Apparently, this is a new pic of Britney Spears from her website.  And I don’t know about you all, but there is something wonky about it.  Like she’s been affected by a mild stroke or something.  Do you see it?

Do I just need new contacts?

The internets are a’buzzing this morning with news of Britney Spears singing LIVE. It was an Alanis Morrisette song, but you know, singing live is singing live.

I don’t know about you all, but I think she needs to rethink those “pants.”

According to this, some fans who attended Britney Spears’ concert in NYC this past Tuesday, got kicked out by security for “dancing too provocatively.”

AT A BRITNEY SPEARS CONCERT.

Let me just remind you that I attended Britney’s show earlier this year.  And it’s not only provocative, it’s practically soft core porn.   BEHOLD:

So unless these particular fans were having actual relations of a sexual nature in their seats, I fail to see why they should have been removed from the premises.

That was sweet of Britney to stop to sign autographs even though she needed to pee.

She’s very busy, you see.  And bras have clasps and straps and all kinds of complicated closures.

You can hardly blame her, what with all of the intricacies of brassierular products.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me a link to a story about a recent Elle photo shoot that Britney Spears did. Apparently, she was dressed in all sorts of fabulous and expensive couture clothing, which she proceeded to ruin because she “forgot what time of the month it was.” You may recall that this isn’t the first time Britney has forgotten that women, including herself, have periods.

I think I can safely speak for all of us when I say, “eeew.”

Look at the 2.20 minute mark. Some lunatic jumped the stage during Britney’s encore performance at a recent concert, and she is visibly shaken by it. You have to feel bad for her, because holy crap that’d scare the crap out of me. And within seconds, she’s back in action, finishing the song.

She may not sing live, but she’s a professional, that Britney.